“The veil calls to us as well, even now, even so far away, Endymion, but please trust us that it’s not the right time. You will know when it’s the right time to cross. It will be more your decision and less a matter of not being able to stay away.”
“Okay. I don’t understand, but I trust you both. I’m so confused. Sometimes I feel completely alone.”
They sympathized, but at the end of the day told me I would be fine and to keep taking it one day at a time. I kept it together for most of the call but when it ended, I covered my sobs with my mouth until I reached the veil. The misty blob began to call out to me, but this time it was less, like I was more in control instead of it controlling me.
“Endy, do you need help?” I heard Bain ask behind me after several minutes of uncontrollable crying, cursing the damned thing for being a wall that I wasn’t allowed to climb but wanted to so badly.
“I’m fine,” I ground out, which was hard through the tears and the wracking chest.
“You’re clearly not fine.” He stood next to me and put his arm around my shoulder. Leaning to the side, I wept on his shirt for what felt like forever.
“It’s just not fair. My parents are from there. My entire line. That’s where I belong. I can find out who I am there. I can be who I am without these restrictions.” I raised my fist to the sky. “I bet I can find my wings over there, too. I don’t even know why I’m here or who I am anymore. Do you know how frustrating that is?”
He nodded. “Actually, I do.”
He did? “Really?”
Bain looked around. “Let’s go to my dorm. We can talk about it there. Everyone is staring. I hate it when people stare.”
I didn’t even bother to look. I’d been stared at since the day I got here but had learned to deal with it. “Yeah, that sounds good.”
We went to his dorm room which was a single. He didn’t share with anyone and there wasn’t a common room outside like there was in our suite. He was alone all the time. Come to think of it, I hadn’t ever seen Bain with friends or even with someone else.
He was alone, except for me.
His room was so pristine and minimal, it bordered on sterile. His comforter was beige and his sheets were white. The bed was made in such a way...it was like he was expecting an inspection of the place at any minute.
It made me so sad. His mohawk read loner and proud of it, but as I looked into his eyes, they told me he was more lonely than the world ever knew.
“Bain…” That was the last word on my lips before he kissed me, shutting the door with his foot while he did.
Chapter Eighteen
Kisses led to touches led to caresses led to...well, led somewhere I’d never been before. Or could be leading there. I’d never considered myself a prude, but I’d also wanted to wait for someone special. The right person.
My friends had all taken the leap, but the boys they’d crooned over and thought they’d be spending their lives with had never lasted, and it seemed as soon as they’d opened that gate, then it meant they would be willing to sleep with basically anyone they were dating, even if they weren’t serious. I had always been picky about who I let touch me, sexual or otherwise. It was either amazing like a hug from my parents or a dear friend or almost painful when someone I didn’t feel comfortable with laid so much as a finger on my arm.
So sleeping with a guy with whom I had little in common and even less chemistry had never seemed like a good idea. Here, I had no such problem. Bain’s kisses curled my toes and made my tummy flip backward and forward and upside down. He wasn’t pushy at all, but he didn’t need to be.
“How do you smell so amazing?” I asked when we broke apart, panting. “Everything in here smells like the most erotic, exotic spices.”
“I don’t know. I can only smell you. Like flowers.” He dipped his lips to mine again, nibbling and urging them apart. I looped my arms around his neck and held on, feeling none of the doubts I’d experienced before with other boys who’d made moves on me. We were going to make love, and I wanted it, wanted him, and knew it would be life changing. He reached for the hem of my shirt and tugged it up; I released him long enough to let him get the shirt over my head. “You’re so beautiful.” Bain cupped my breasts, as if weighing them. “Let’s get this bra off you.”
“Yes, please.” I helped him with the front hooks when he cursed. “Your fingers are probably too big.” Also, the hooks had gotten bent in the wash, but I wasn’t going to mention that and ruin the romance of a moment I felt I’d waited for my whole life. The cups fell away and his warm palms covered my breasts again, this time with no cloth in the way. I fumbled with my jeans and managed to drop them while kicking off my shoes. “I want you.”
“Oh, Endy,” he murmured, nuzzling the base of my throat. “I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you, but I wasn’t sure you’d feel the same.”
I shuddered. “How could I not?” I grabbed for his waistband, but he gently pushed my hands away and undressed in a series of quick, neat movements then laid me back on his bed.
“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he said, caressing me and dotting little kisses over the tops of my breasts. “We can just cuddle.”
“Are you kidding me?” I panted, trying to get my hands over as much of him as possible, wanting to know how he felt, how he tasted. “Do fairies ever make love in the air?”
His laugh came out choked. “Yes, but I’m very happy with where we are now.”
He didn’t point out that he wasn’t the strongest with his wings and mine weren’t even in evidence yet, but we both knew those things to be true. And I was happy, too. And wet. Between my thighs. And around my nipples where he was currently sucking and licking. “We can fly some other time,” I told him. Because we would. I would get my wings out eventually. Everyone seemed to think so.
Bain grabbed a pillow from the top of the bed and tucked it under my head then kissed his way down my body to the waistband of my tiny panties. He took the fabric in his teeth and dragged it down, baring me entirely to his ministrations. Bain extended his tongue and then dipped down and licked me.