Chapter Five
Jillian
I got back the next morning.
Rarely was I away from my home overnight, and I especially hadn’t wanted to do it now, but I didn’t want to have to explain my reasoning. Dean, my guest and very confused new shifter, had not been invited onto our lands, and the alpha of this pack was a stickler for protocols. He might accept him, but he might not, and until Dean got his feet under him and learned to work with his wolf—a wolf he’d never known even existed within him—I hoped to keep our relationship under the radar.
Our relationship as pack member and guest. There was no more to it than that. I zipped up the hoodie I’d fished out of the trash behind one of the pack homes and shivered. I would wash it when I got home, but discards were the way I usually got my clothing, and it was too cold this morning for me to be picky. I hurried through the forest, the sun barely kissing the horizon and frost crunching under my feet.
I hoped Dean managed to find something to eat from my limited larder. At least there was a half loaf of bread, not too stale, and some soft cheese.
Would that be enough for him? And what must he think of my not returning last night? That maybe I’d abandoned him in the ratty cabin? I sped my steps, cursing the beta who made me sit with his girlfriend’s pups while he took her somewhere to screw her brains out. When I’d dared to object, in hand signals and headshakes, he’d pointed out I had nothing better to do but perhaps I’d rather join the two of them. A female like his, with pups whose parentage she couldn’t identify was rare and low in status, but nobody was as low as me. For reasons I still didn’t understand. Others had joined the pack since I arrived, but they all lived near the others in relatively comfortable homes and… No point in going over my situation again and again.
Also, no point in thinking my guest, Dean, would have any feelings for me beyond possible friendship and a little gratitude maybe. I vowed to help him adjust to his changed status. Maybe the alpha or another would have more knowledge about his late shifting. For the time being, I’d do what I could to get him ready to join the others, to give him the best chance of acceptance.
Not that I was an expert, but I sure knew how to be a pariah.
And I’d enjoy the company before he moved on.
I emerged into the clearing where my hovel stood but stopped when I realized no smoke came from the chimney. Silently cursing myself, I acknowledged that I should have shown him how to bank the coals at nightfall and bring the fire to life again in the morning. I had few comforts, but so far, nobody had told me I could not gather enough deadfall to keep a cheerful blaze in my hearth. If the fire had gone out, the place would be freezing cold.
I pushed the door open to the dim space. Sure enough, the hearth was cold and the chill worse than outside. Had I voice, I’d have called to announce my arrival, but a cursory glance assisted by the bit of dawning from outside revealed the pointlessness of such an endeavor.
Not only was nobody there, but the clothing I’d loaned him lay in a heap. Had he shifted and left? But to go where? I had the impression he didn’t even know where we were relative to his home. And he’d have to shift back to communicate with anyone. Naked?
In addition to the logic, something told me the possibility of his just stripping, shifting, and blithely leaving with no plan to return was not what happened. Of course not. He’d been so off-balance and barely understood he’d been a wolf. Would he have tried to become one again? But if not, why take off the clothing and leave it behind? I had few enough things to notice if anything else were missing, and nothing I owned was large enough for him besides the ones he’d been wearing. And left behind.
Had someone from the pack found him there and taken him away? Forced him to shift?
No, of course not. There would be signs from a forced shift. Blood primarily but likely broken furniture. And the clothes showed no damage at all.
The only explanation that made any sense was that he’d wanted to try and see if he could change again then been unable to return to two-legged. Then...what? Run off into the forest? My wolf rumbled deep within me, reminding me that she had skills I lacked in this form.
Shall we go find him, then?
Find mate.
Oh no.He isn’t our mate. We’ve just been alone too long. Let’s go rescue him. Again.
No response this time. I understood some wolves were downright chatty, but mine was a creature of few words. And I had no time to argue. Mate? Really? She probably just thought that because he stayed overnight. Or because we truly were lonely. Not just me. Stripping down to bare skin, I shook my head. How cruel was it for the wolf to be stuck with me? Living apart from all the others who would be company for her. I wasn’t even invited on the pack runs where the wolves mingled, and when they stampeded through the forest nearby, I could feel her pain. No, Dean wasn’t our mate, but maybe he would be our friend? I’d just continue to say that to myself until I believed it.
Before shifting, I grabbed the pack holding a T-shirt dress and added the pants I’d lent Dean. Once in my fur, I slipped the straps over my neck and rolled to put it in place. The design was a bit rough, since I’d done it myself, but sometimes you just wanted to get somewhere and be human again—and naked was not always a good look.
Dean had to be gone awhile for the fireplace to be so cold, assuming he hadn’t just sat around watching it get that way, and if in wolf form, he could have covered many miles. Had he gone too far, I’d never be able to find him. Nose to the ground, we snuffled our way past the tree line.
It’s been many hours. His wolf passed here before last night.
Can you find him?
Find mate.
And we were back to that. As we got deeper into the forest, we moved faster and faster. Between scent and broken branches, his trail was so obvious, I might have been able to follow it even in two-legged form but not with the speed my wolf could. And her determination would not let us stop even to drink water until we approached the edges of pack lands and found Dean stumbling along.
I got this,I told my wolf.This is one of those times I really wish I could talk.
You talk. We talk.
Yes we do.