Chapter Seven
Jillian
After our meeting with the alpha, we went looking for Ruston but instead found Jerad, who was overseeing a group doing repairs on one of the barns. In winter, people didn’t have as much to do, but Barrett disliked idleness, claiming it led to disharmony among the pack.
I waved Dean forward, and he approached the beta who lounged on a hay bale, sipping from a travel mug. “Uh, hello. I need to speak to Ruston? The alpha sent me.”
Jerad, in typical fashion, did not bother to stand. “Yeah? And who are you?” Ruston, the primary beta, was reserved but professional on pack matters always. Many thought he would be the next alpha, if he wanted the position, but Jerad? He did not one more thing than was required to keep him from getting in trouble with the alpha.
“I’m Dean, and I just arrived. The alpha said Ruston could assign me a job. Do you know where I could find him, please?”
“If it’s any of your business, he’s away on pack matters. You’ll have to find him later.”
Despite the rudeness of the beta, Dean maintained a calm manner. For a guy who just discovered he had a wolf inside him, he displayed admirable aplomb. I didn’t know how I’d behave in his shoes but probably not nearly so well. “All right, I’ll check back...when?”
Jerad held up a hand. “You, over there, that straw isn’t going to rake itself. Speed it up or there will be no break for you.” He gave a satisfied nod.What a tool.“Ruston doesn’t answer to you, new guy. So he’ll be back when he gets here, and you’ll have to keep trying until he is.” He redirected his attention to the workers, still managing not to get off his butt to do it. “Hey, cobwebs! I don’t want to see any of those in the corners. Neat and tidy, lazy asses.”
“Thank you,” Dean told him instead of giving him the kick he deserved. “I will stop by in the morning and see if he’s returned. You have a good day.” He turned on a heel and strode out the door.
“You’d better tell that newfriendof yours that if he doesn’t show more respect, he won’t last here long. Or maybe someone will teach him his place.” I’d heard Jerad mouth off enough times, I didn’t stick around. Nobody expected me to reply anyway, which sometimes offered an advantage. I followed Dean into the waning wintery daylight.
Although only one of us lacked the ability to speak, we walked through the forest in silence. What must he be thinking? I tried to imagine what it would be like if I had stepped into the shifter world as a young adult with no foreknowledge that it existed.
Shifter weren’t completely unknown outside our packs, but we seemed to move just under the radar. As in...people were aware we were around, but they never seemed to acknowledge us, or be sure that we weren’t more than just rural communes or something. In order to avoid issues with hunters or farmers or someone who might shoot a predator on sight—laws against protected species be damned or ignored—most packs managed to buy up large-enough swaths of land for their members to run on. Or—like us—backing up to federal or state wildernesses, state parks, that sort of thing. The caves from which we drew our name were on our land, but they extended beyond as well. In fact, nobody knew how far into the mountains they went. And since the only opening I’d ever heard of was on our property, I’d never encountered an outsider in my explorations. I found them peaceful and magical chambers, havens of calm and near silence.
As we approached my cabin, I marveled that the alpha had been so gracious and accepting. Dean could have no idea how lucky he’d been to not be thrown off the lands. Few outsiders were accepted, and they usually came highly recommended by their home packs or by the high council. Dean was not a member yet, but in telling him to get a work assignment and me to train him? As long as he behaved well, he’d very likely have a permanent home.
If he wanted to stay here. He had left a life behind, a college degree in progress. Most of the children in our pack were home schooled by their loving parents. Since I didn’t have any loving parents, in fact had no idea what happened to my mom and dad, and my lack of speech might have caused extra work for anyone who wanted to teach me, nobody bothered.
But why had the alpha agreed to let me train him? It wasn’t as if he was approving anything more between Dean and I. To the contrary, he’d been clear that nothing had changed. I was not free to mate with him or with anyone. And he recognized the attraction between us. Could it be one more punishment for me? Look but don’t touch? Share a dwelling but never kiss, never bond in any way?
I tried to suppress my sigh but failed, and Dean, in the process of opening my door—never locked because what would anyone want to steal from me—cast me an askance glance. I mustered a smile and followed him inside.
Dean dressed in the shirt I’d loaned him. I would have to take him to the pack supply office tomorrow. They always had some clothes lying around for those in need. Most much better than what I ended up with. Dean would get paid once he started working and be able to buy some things. Ruston would explain that to him or the quartermaster beta would. For now, I needed to make us some dinner because it had been a long day, and I’d had much more need to communicate than usual. It wore me out. Food and sleep…
But apparently only one of us saw sunset as the end of the day. By lantern and firelight, I prepared our meal, a mostly vegetarian stew with some strips of meat I’d dried over the summer, providing a bit more body to the broth. And while I cooked and made tea, Dean peppered me with questions I had little ability to answer satisfactorily. Nods, headshakes, and shrugs can only go so far, so with regret, I fetched my notebook and pencil and set it next to my plate. My abilities to read and write were about to be outed, and my college-student cabin-mate would find out just how illiterate I was.
He picked up his spoon and dug in, scooping the stew into his mouth with great enjoyment. Greater than this poor meal deserved. I used herbs and made it the best I could, but a few carrots, onion, and potato and strips of venison did not a banquet make. Many of the young single males in the pack lived in a dormitory-style building and ate together. They paid a cook to provide the number of calories they needed for hard physical work as well as the higher-than-usual baseline of a wolf shifter.
I should send him there to live. The alpha wouldn’t object. I picked up my pencil to say so but instead wrote...Tomorow lessonsthen pushed the pad toward him. He read it with a funny expression I couldn’t decipher for sure, but probably I’d goofed somehow. My letters were poorly formed.
“That will be great!” he enthused. “What are you going to show me first?”
I took the pad and wrotepack ruls.I’d prefer to work on shifting, but if he unknowingly violated one of the many regulations, he’d be punished, and it would be my fault.
“All right.” He ate another bite of stew. “I don’t want to cause any problems.”
No. I show you.
“Thanks.” Dean finished his bowl and I returned to the fire to fill it again. “Hey, you know what? It seems unfair for you to help me if I don’t do something in return. I thought of maybe offering to cut wood, but you have a huge pile out there. Maybe...if it wouldn’t offend you...I noticed you couldn’t, that is you don’t…”
I nevver went to school.What little I could do so far as reading and writing went, I’d managed on my own. I yearned to know more, to be a better writer for the sake of communication...and to be able to read novels. To lose myself in the worlds they encompassed. When the children had a story hour, I tried to be close by and listen. If I could just read for myself, I’d never ask for another thing in life.
Or try not to.
“Then, if you wouldn’t mind, would you let me tutor you? I did it at school for extra money, so I must be decent at it. Would you like to learn?”
A single tear spotted the note I pushed toward him.Yes.