“I’ve not moved any of your mama’s pictures. I dust around them.”
“But the one in Daddy’s bedroom keeps getting stuck in his dresser by mistake. I’ve had to get it out of there three times. And, when I came downstairs today, I peeked in Daddy’s office and now her picture in there is missing, too.”
The child is pouting, the housekeeper is perplexed and I’m having to focus on breathing.
If Julieta hadn’t put Kathy’s picture away in his bedroom, which I know she wouldn’t dare be so presumptuous, there’s only one person who would have. And now, I know he wasn’t the one putting it back either.
“I need… excuse me,” I whisper, hurrying from the table.
Maria and Julieta make way as if they fear me vomiting all over their sparkling clean floors. That’s not the issue. I’ve got to be certain I’m understanding this. It doesn’t change everything but I’d like to stop torturing myself needlessly over the past and a dead woman.
I find him in his office, still on the phone. It sounds as though he’s wrapping up his call so I hover in the doorway. He catches sight of me as I’m catching his half of the conversation and he waves me inside.
“That’s right. No in-person meetings past three o’clock except the bi-monthly board meetings… Oh, for the next few months and then I’ll re-evaluate… Yeah, those can be done remotely… No, Grayson can handle that. Send it his way and tell him to call me with any questions… I’ll need you to reschedule today’s noon meeting. I’ve got to catch Jonathan when he’s not on the bench later… Yeah, that’s all for now. Thanks, Claire.”
“Sorry to intrude,” I say after he hangs up.
“You’re never an intrusion.”
The deep timbre of his voice, like mulled wine, seeps through my skin and warms me. My body reacts to his nearness whether I want it to or not. I should keep my distance but I step closer instead.
Alone with him in his office, memories return of the night we attended the awards banquet together and what we did afterwards. I want nothing more than to walk into his arms and be held. I want to be kissed. To feel loved. But I’ve got more than myself to think of.
I glance at his desk. There’s only one picture there, the one of the children I first saw in here during my interview with Margaret. I twist my fingers together nervously. “Is it busy at the office?” I ask, suddenly not ready to ask about the picture yet.
“Always but I’m making it less busy.” I’m not sure what he means by that. “You’re dressed up for more than driving kids to school this morning.”
“Yes, I have an interview for the substitute post. Mr. Carter says it’s a formality but the choice isn’t his alone.”
Theo nods. “Are you nervous?”
“Very.” But I’m not sure what I’m most nervous about.
“You’ll do great.”
“Thanks. Theo? You removed Kathy’s pictures. In here and by your bed.”
He shoves his hands into his trouser pockets and slowly nods. “I did. It was time.”
It was time. I’m afraid to pin too much hope to that just yet. “Jill’s been getting the one by your bed back out. She asked Julieta why she was moving her mommy’s pictures.”
There’s that crooked grin I love. “I had wondered who... I’ll have a talk with her later. She might want them in her room.”
I don’t expect him to expel Kathy from his heart or his memories but knowing that he might be moving forward fills my heart with more quiet hope. He’d said not to run away, that we could work this out.
“I’d like to speak with you this evening before you go to Isa’s… about your position here.”
My position here, as the nanny. I changed the agreed upon terms of my employment without consulting him and I’m not feeling as confident about that at the moment. There’s nothing in his tone of voice or expression to put me on guard and yet I am.
But I simply say, “Okay,” before leaving to help the children finish getting ready.
∞∞∞
“You got it?” Isa asks, excitedly.
“I got it!” We squeal together before it becomes a little unbearable over the Bluetooth. “I don’t know why I’m so excited. It’s just for the remainder of the semester while Mrs. White is on maternity leave.”
“You’ll be teaching again which you love, Quinn! That’s why you’re excited and rightly so.”