He casts aside the tie he was holding and sits on the edge of the bed. “Fine, let’s talk about this and what it means going forward.”
What it means going forward? How can he sound so professional, almost clinical, about this news? “I’d hoped you might be happy even if I knew better,” I say, brokenly.
If he doesn’t want our baby, does he even want me at all? Tears are blurring my vision. He hates when women use tears to manipulate men. Hadn’t he said that to me once? Will he think that’s what I’m doing now?
“What do you want me to say, Quinn? If you want to teach, teach. But does that mean you… are you going to be leaving us or-”
I swipe at my eyes. “Whoa, hold on.Teaching? You think I’m talking about teaching? About quitting my job here?” His perplexed scowl tells me that’s exactly what he was thinking. “I-I’m not talking about the teaching position Alex offered me.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about it then? Why’d I have to find out about it fromAlex?”he says, sneering at the man’s name. “And whatareyou talking about?”
It’s not graceful, no easing into it but I feel like there’s too many mixed signals going on right now. Best to get it out. Like a bandaid.
“I’m talking about being pregnant, Theo.I’mpregnant.With our baby.”
Like watching a train wreck, I see the flood of confused thoughts racing through his mind. I suddenly want to pull the words back into my mouth while waiting on him to say something, anything. He says nothing.
“I’m nine weeks along,” I say, unable to keep the pleading note out of my voice. “The doctor confirmed it today. I heard the baby’s heartbeat.” My own heart still skips thinking about that wondrous sound.
He’s not even listening. “I thought it was a routine check-up. You were going to ask about getting back on the pill.”
Don’t panic. Breathe. “Well, I know. That was the plan but-”
“I’ve used a condom every single time.” His precise tone makes my blood run cold.
“I know but they’re obviously not 100% fail proof because-”
“I’m not a teenager. I know how to properly use a condom. I buy the correct size for me. I don’t use out-of-date ones. I… how could this happen?”
His list of reasons it’s not possible is making me angry on top of wounding me. “It still happened. Theo…”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have kept them in your room,” he says quietly next.
He may as well have shouted it.
He may as well have slapped me with that accusation.
“I didn’tdoanything to your condoms,” I hiss between clenched teeth.Don’t panic. “Are you going to ask if it’s your baby next?”
His eyes widen and then narrow. “Why? Did you have special plans this past weekend I wasn’t aware of?”
I’m not going to panic.
I’m going to explode.
“Fuck you, Theo!” I scream, sobbing and furious over this knife through the heart. “How dare you-”
He rakes his hands through his hair. “Goddammit, Quinn. I didn’t mean that! But, it’s been a fucking nightmare of a day, a week, a shitty-ass year already and now you’re-”
“I’m what? I’mwhat?! Inconveniently pregnant?! Obviously, you think I’ve planned it, too, to trap you or some bull-”
“Dad? Ms. Quinn?”
We both turn, horrified. The children are in the doorway, both of them, staring at us and visibly upset by the sound of our raised voices and angry words.
Theo’s quicker to regain his composure. Of course, he is. Helps when you’re a heartless asshole. “This isn’t a good time, kids. Ms. Quinn and I are-”
“Are done talking,” I finish for him angrily and not a bit composed. “Your father and I are finished talking to each other. He’s got a plane to catch and important business elsewhere,” I say like a curse and he winces. “I’ll be here with you until he gets back.”Until he gets back.