Ryder nods sagely as if he understands perfectly. “Park got Fourth Place.”
“That’s good. Did he get a cool trophy like yours?”
“No, I was the only one who got that.” Ryder’s attention shifts to his award and he starts proudly telling Theo about it. Father and son are talking, bonding. They’re going to be just fine.
So, I slip out of the doorway, unseen and not needed tonight. I don’t know how to feel. Ryder’s not in favor of Theo kissing me or any woman who isn’t his mother and Theo cares about me while Kathy is always in his heart.
What started off as casual sex is becoming increasingly complicated and that little voice of doubt in my head whispers maybe we were never meant to be more.
∞∞∞
“What did Theo say after he talked to Ryder?” Isa asks, passing me a glass of water. I’m dry as a bone after heaving up my breakfast this morning. Sure, it could be nerves working on an overtired body but I have a feeling it’s not.
“Nothing. He never came to my room last night.”
Isa winces. “And you didn’t go to his?”
“I’ve never gone to his.” His room is too close to the children’s, we’d agreed. He always comes to me. And, Kathy’s picture is still beside his bed. That never used to bother me. Now, it does. “So, did you accept your cruise-ship romance’s phone number after you docked?”
Isa flushes. “I did. But then I realized he’s got a Chicago area code. Of all the rotten luck.”
“Rotten luck?”
“He was supposed to be a fun escape. And he was a lot of fun but he’s a bit older and I’m not looking for anything serious.”
“Sometimes, serious things come along whether we’re looking or not.”Like Theo did.
Lucas gives a little shriek of joy over the puzzle game he’s been occupied with and Isa goes to make sure he’s alright. I watch my sister with the toddler and think about the pharmacy bag in my purse.
I drove there as soon as the kids were gone this morning. I wasn’t sure I could handle taking the test alone so I came here. It’s been an anxious twelve hours of waiting for a good opportunity to do this and now I can’t pee.
Theo never came to me last night so we haven’t been free to talk. Ryder wouldn’t look at me when he came down to breakfast. When I tried speaking to him, he’d grunt and turn away. Jill had watched with worried eyes which broke my heart. I don’t want to be the cause of any hurt for this family. Theo had suggested that the children ride with him and Dan to school which had suited me in one way and hurt in another.
“I’ll be home tonight and we’ll have Sleepover Night in Ms. Quinn’s room, okay?”he’d said as breakfast had been wrapping up.
“I don’t want to. Sleepover Night is dumb,”Ryder had said before dashing out of the room.
Jill had squeaked and chased after her brother, telling him he was dumb if he thought Sleepover Night was dumb. I’d choked back tears while Theo had grimaced and said he’d talk to him. Maria had been watching with wide eyes from the sink but, once Theo and the children left, I couldn’t talk to her or Julieta. I needed my sister.
“Quinn, it’s going to be okay,” Isa says, comforting me with a hug while holding a wiggly Lucas.
“You don't know that. What if Ryder hates me forever?”
“He’s not going to hate you forever. He’s processing things and the poor kid’s got a lot to process. He’ll work through them. It would help if you could get a little one on one time with him but maybe it’s best Theo handles him first. He is his son.”
Yes,hisson. Not mine. My chin trembles. I want to call Ryder and Jill mine, too. “Isa, I think I’ll try it now.”
With fumbling hands, I turn the lock on the guest bathroom and pull the pregnancy test out of its box. I’ve never taken one, never needed to, but it looks simple enough. Thirteen deep breaths and I finally manage to pee.Now, we wait.
One line. Not pregnant. Okay. I should be relieved, right? Why is my chest caving in? Panic, raw and overwhelming, surges through me. Not now. “Isa?” I whisper, fumbling to unlock the door.
Wait.
Twolines. Two. Pregnant. And the panic in my chest loosens. Magically. What the hell?
“Isa?!”
My sister’s by my side in seconds with Lucas apparently stowed somewhere safely out of the way. We stare at the test the same way the little boy was staring at his puzzle game earlier.