"Seb?" My heart seems to expand in my chest. At the same time, the hair on the back of my neck rises. What have I done? Did I actually think I could hurt this man and live with myself afterward? Couldn’t I have found a way to safeguard my child and also spare him from being hurt? How was I so weak I allowed Fabio to manipulate me into doing something I didn’t want to do? Couldn’t I have trusted my husband with the truth? And now, it’s too late.
"Oh, Seb." My voice cracks, and I lower my chin to my chest. A tear drop squeezes out of the corner of my eyes, and goddamn it, I’ve had enough. This crying, sniveling mess I have become, who bends too easily to other people’s will, is not me. I may have allowed Fabio to use my weakness—Avery—against me, but that ends here.
Seb had done that, too, though. He'd used the fact that I’d do anything for Avery’s happiness to cajole me into marrying him. The only difference is, I’d known what I was getting into. Known that this would help me set him up so Fabio could get access to him. I feel so dirty.
"I had no idea that he was going to shoot at you. If I did—"
"You’d have still done it."
This time, I glance away. He’s right. I didn’t have a choice, though, did I?
"I would have helped you." Seb curls the fingers of his unbandaged hand into a fist. "All you had to do was tell me what he was forcing you to do, and I’d have found a way to protect you and Avery."
"He has Avery with him during the week. Every time I drop her off, I’m convinced it’s the last time I’ll see her. There’s nothing stopping him from never allowing her to see me again."
"I would have found a solution. I would have done anything it took to ensure that you never had to see him again."
"He had. Avery. With him." I grip the back of the chair so hard that the edges of the wood dig into my palms. "How could I risk going against him, when he had my daughter in his grasp?" Anger licks through my veins. "It’s so easy for you to ask me to trust you, isn’t it? So easy for you to wave a hand and get your people to take care of the situation."
"I never would have asked anyone else for help. I would have taken care of this personally."
"I couldn’t risk it, don't you understand? He had Avery in his home, under his roof. What if he did something to her?"
"And yet, you don’t want me to kill him?"
"God knows, I do... But he’s still her father." I squeeze my eyes shut. "When she grows up and asks me about her father, what would I tell her?"
"That I’m her father."
I snap my eyelids open. I see his face, take in the clarity in those gorgeous eyes of his. Oh, my god, I’ve been such a fool. This man… He would have done anything… Anything for me and my daughter. He would've died before allowing anything to happen to her. He never would've allowed Fabio to hurt her. He would’ve used everything in his power to ensure that Fabio would never see her again. He would’ve ensured I had full custody of her, just like he had promised. He actually loves me. He loves me. And while I’d told him I loved him… I hadn’t fully internalized it. I didn’t love him enough to trust him. The pressure behind my eyes builds, and I blink away the moisture. I will not cry, not again. Shit. I’m doing it again. I tip up my chin and meet his gaze as tears stream down my cheeks. "I am truly so, so sorry, Seb."
36
A week later
Elsa
I clutch the window sill of my apartment and peer out. Any moment now, she'll be here. Any moment, I’ll get to see my heart, my angel, here again.
A car draws up. Massimo gets out of the driver’s side, while Axel emerges from the passenger side. Both glance up and down the road, and when they’re satisfied, Axel raps his knuckles against the window of the back door, which is pushed open. Theresa slides out. She reaches in, hiding whoever is in the backseat with her, then straightens with Avery in her arms.
I rush out of my apartment, down the hallway, and toward the front door. I fling it open, step out, and the two guards instantly block my way.
I stop and hold out my arms as Theresa walks up the pathway. She reaches us, and Avery spots me.
Her face scrunches up. "Mama," she begins to cry. "Mama."
"Don’t cry, sweetie pie." Tears well up, and I swallow them down.No crying again, remember? You did this. Now, be strong. Do what needs to be done, and don’t let your emotions muddy the waters. Focus on the end goal—your daughter’s happiness. That’s what’s important. It doesn’t matter if you have to give up everything, even if you end up hating yourself in the process. As long as Avery is safe, everything will have been worth it.
As soon as Theresa reaches me, Avery leaps out of her arms and into mine. I clasp her to my chest and rock her. "My baby, my sweet little baby."
She cries harder, and my heart feels like it’s going to break. I turn and walk back inside and down the hallway, Theresa following closely behind me. I head for Avery’s nursery, aware of the men walking into the house behind us, as well. The door snicks shut as I enter the nursery. I head for the rocking-chair I used when I was nursing her and sit down, holding her in my arms. I rock back and forth, holding her close.
A few minutes later, the door opens and Theresa walks in with a bowl of the food I prepared for Avery.
"Thank you, T." She stands next to me, holding the bowl as I feed Avery. After a few mouthfuls, my baby shakes her head, and instead, burrows into me.
"You sure you don’t want to eat, pumpkin?" I feed her another mouthful, then she turns her face away again.