"What would be a good sign is if you got the fuck away from me at the moment."
The silence stretches for a second, then another. I shoot her a sideways glance and find her glancing at me with a hurt look on her face. Something hot stabs at my chest.
Goddamn it, this is what I was afraid of. Developing feelings for her. Wanting to take care of her. Needing to own her and keep her.No, no, no, that’s not possible.There is one thing, and one thing only, that I want from her. And that is her subservience. Her ability to be the key to destroying the Sovranos. It’s what I have worked toward and I will not allow her to upend my plans, not when I have come this far. I rise to my feet. "I am going to the bathroom, and when I come out, I want you gone."
I walk away from her.
Behind me, I hear her feet hit the floor, then footsteps approaching me.
"Axel, please," she pleads, "can’t you, at least, share a little of what happened in your childhood? Does it have to do with the scars on your right forearm. Is that why you keep playing with your lighter when you are stressed, even though you don’t smoke?"
What the fuck? How could she have noticed that? People seldom notice these details. They see something and their minds complete the details. But Theresa—she spotted it right away. Anger lights a fire up my spine. How dare she try to find out everything about me? How dare she pay such close attention to me? How dare she walk into my room when I am at my most vulnerable and then try to win my trust? I will never let anyone close. Those kinds of relationships are not for me. Not when I have one reason, and one reason only, to be alive. Revenge for what the Sovranos did to me and my mother.
"Axel, please say some—"
I turn around close the distance between us, then grab her by her neck and haul her toward me. I crush my lips to hers with such force that our teeth clash. A shudder grips her, then she’s kissing me back with as much intensity. She opens her mouth and I thrust my tongue inside. I suck on her tongue, drag my tongue over her teeth, and drink of her deeply. Then, I release her and step back so suddenly, she staggers. I grip her shoulder and right her. "You can leave and go home, if you wish, until the wedding." I turn and stalk into the bathroom.
By the time I return to the room, she’s gone.
28
Theresa
What was that about? He had been dreaming, no doubt about it. And he had been crying out for his mother. I heard it. In that brief moment, his voice had sounded frightened and childlike. It had struck a chord in me and I had not been able to stop myself from trying to soothe him. I had tried to reassure him and his eyelids had flown open, and for a few seconds, he had looked at me without comprehension. In those unguarded moments, I had seen something in his eyes—helplessness, anger, and fear. So much fear. He had been afraid for his life. Something happened to him when he was a child, something that scarred him for life and made him the man he is today. Cynical and unable to trust anyone. Someone who isn’t even able to open up to his brothers. Oh, he’s ready to do business with them, all right, but anything more than that is off the table.
As soon as he realized I had seen past the usual barriers he puts up against the world, and when I had pushed him about the dream, he had told me to get out. In all honesty, part of the reason I reminded him about the dream is because I knew that he was going to kiss me, and if he had, I might never have left the room. Which, maybe, wouldn’t have been that bad, considering I had been so turned on by him that I hadn’t been able to sleep earlier. But I didn’t want him to kiss me just then. Not when I had finally glimpsed the man behind the monster, the human behind the unfeeling brute that he likes to pretend to be.
He lashed out at me then, tried to hurt me, and when I still tried to push it, he shut me up with that kiss. Oh, my god, that kiss. He never can lie to me when he kisses me. He meant this kiss to be hard and punishing, but all I felt was his passion, his frustration, his need to connect with me, his need for me…
He yearns for me, that much is clear. He wants to do things to me… He… I squeeze my eyes shut. Oh, my god. He wants to possess me, to crawl under my skin, inside my heart, into my head, occupy my every thought, be my breath, my sight, become the one thing I can’t do without.
And I’ll let him. I won’t stop him. This is what he meant by his ‘perversions.’ I have no doubt now. I’ll let him do to me whatever he wants. I want what he can do to me. Question is, will I survive it?
"Theresa?" My sister bursts through the door of my room.
I moved back in with my parents first thing in the morning because he told me to leave and because I couldn’t face another run-in with him so quickly after last night. I packed my bags and called Seb, who drove me home without a comment. He promised to be back within the hour to take me to the shop. Not that I don’t want to spend time with my parents, but I can’t keep away from the shop either.
The shop is my one accomplishment and I intend to make sure I take good care of it. I don’t intend for anything to sidetrack me from my business, not even once I am married. So I’ve decided to show up to help Elsa, given I have the entire day stretching out in front of me without him to distract me.
"Sara," I turn to her, "what are you doing back from university?"
"What am I doing back from university?" She rolls her eyes, "You’re getting married, T, and you thought I wouldn’t come?"
"I didn’t mean that," I murmur as I take in my sister’s hair, which is dyed in a shade of—is that delphinium blue? Jesus, did she actually dye her hair blue? Her face is wreathed in a big smile as she launches herself into my arms. "Oh, my god, T! Oh, my god, you are getting married! I can’t believe you are getting married."
"Um," I pat her shoulder, "it was, ah, very sudden."
"I’ll bet." She pulls back in the circle of my arms, then stares down at me from her much taller five-foot, nine-inch height. "Who is he?" She waggles her eyebrows. "Is it true that he is one of the Sovranos? That’s what Mom told me. When are you going to introduce me to him?"
"Um," I shuffle my feet, "you are going to meet him at the wedding."
"But that’s still a few days off."
"It’s only three days away." I scowl at her, "Besides, I won’t be seeing him until at the wedding."
"Really?" She blinks rapidly, "You are not going to see him before that?"
"Nope."