"You turn me into a lovestruck fool, Sunshine," I lower myself onto one knee and take her hand in mine. "You are my inspiration. You fill a void in me I didn’t even know I had. Since we’ve been apart, I've felt so hollow, like my life was already over. It's as if when I walked away, I left my heart behind with you. Every time I breathe, it's like razor blades are cutting through me. I can't sleep, can't eat, can barely focus on my job. All I want is to be near you, to spend all of my time with you, loving you, and proving to you how much I love you."
"Wow," she swallows, "that’s…that’s poetic."
"I missed you." I peer up into her features, "When I wasn’t with you, I went crazy with wanting you. All I wanted to do was reach out to you and hold you and kiss you and feel you, and have you melt into me, and hold you so tightly our skin fused together. And I know it won’t be easy to be together. I know I’ll drive you crazy with my over-the-top possessiveness. And I’ll want to control you, and possess you, and direct every aspect of your life, and when I overstep the line, you have my permission to tell me off."
"I do?"
"You bet. Just tell me to sod off anytime I get too overwhelming for you. In fact, I want you to promise me you’ll let me know whenever I overstep."
"O-k-a-y," she tips her head, "though I am still not sure what you are saying."
I slide my hand into my pocket, pull out a ring and slide it onto her finger.
"Oh," she opens and shuts her mouth, "is that—"
"Marry me," I murmur.
She glances down at the platinum band with the single emerald in an antique setting
"It was my mother’s," I lower my head and kiss the ring on her finger, "and now it’s yours."
Her chin wobbles and she stares at the ring for so long that I begin to worry.
"Theresa?" My heart begins to thump in my chest, "Will you be mine?"
A teardrop trails down her cheek, and my stomach ties itself in knots.
"Don’t cry, Sunshine, please. You know I can’t bear to see you in distress."
"So why did you leave me?" she cries. "Why did you walk away from me?"
"I was foolish. I wasn’t thinking straight. All I could think was that he could have shot you. That I was responsible for pulling you into my world and painting a target on you. That if anything were to happen to you, I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself. It’s the moment I realized just how much I loved you, that you were my entire universe. I am nothing without you. Nothing. You are the reason I want to go on living. You are what makes everything worthwhile. You make me feel, you plug me into this world, you are the reason for my existence, Sunshine."
She swallows; her chest rises and falls. More tears flow down her face. One of them hits my cheek and trails down. I lick it up.
“There’s something else.” I catch her eye before I continue, “If I ever try to pull something like this again, deciding you’re better off without me and not giving you any say in the matter, I want you to knock some sense into me. Remind me, I’m promising to never do that again.”
“I promise, I’ll let you know.” Then she laughs and shakes her head. "You’re crazy, you know."
“Crazy about you.” I smile, then grow serious again. "And you’re mine."
"I am," she agrees.
"So, you’ll marry me?"
"I can’t," she replies.
"What do you mean?"
"I was nevernotmarried to you, Axel. I was yours from the moment we met. I belong to you, only you."
50
Two weeks later
Theresa
I glance at the rings on my left hand—my engagement ring and my wedding ring. One has an emerald in an antique setting; the other is an ornate gold band which compliments the first.