"What if I said that I liked what you did?"
"You have to be more specific than that."
"When you came tearing in here and pushed me onto my front and reached for my zipper, I thought—"
"That I’d take you by force, even if you said no?"
"This is not the only time," she confesses. "The time you barged into my home, and you were so angry with me that you ripped my dress." She shivers. "I was sure, then, that you would take me against my will."
Ah! I hold her gaze. "And it excited you, didn’t it?" In a flat voice, I add, "You expected the worst of me because I’m from the Mafia. So much so, you were sure I wouldn’t take no for an answer. In fact, you hoped that I wouldn’t take no for an answer, because then you could have blamed the entire experience on me."
Her cheeks redden. "That’s true," she admits. "In a way, it would have been easier if I had not been one of the consenting parties. Then, I wouldn’t have to hate myself so much for enjoying what you do to me."
"I’m still not sure what you’re getting at."
"Are you really sorry for what you said earlier?"
I nod.
"Do you want me to forgive you for what you said earlier?"
"Yes, of course. " I lower my chin to my chest. "What are you getting at, Aurora?"
"Consensual non-consent."
32
Aurora
"Gesù Cristo!" He growls, "Do you even know the meaning of what that is?"
"I know more than you realize." I firm my lips. "I may have been a virgin, but that was by choice. It wasn’t because I was too insecure to fuck anyone else; it was because I didn’t want to fuck anyone else."
"But you wanted me to fuck you." He scowls. "Didn’t you?"
"Yes," I nod, "and it was a first. I mean, the attraction between us is, clearly, off-the-charts and not hidden from either of us. It’s also why I agreed to play along with this fake marriage thing you had in mind."
"O-k-ay.” His brows twist. "So, you are saying that if I want your forgiveness, I’ll have to fuck you, but in a scenario that involves—"
"My being non-consensual."
"Why would you want to do that?" He frowns. "Is it because you think I‘m already depraved, so why not use the scenario to live out all of your fantasies?"
"Something like that," I admit.
"Is there something else you’re not telling me, Flower?" He peers into my features, and his own soften. "Did something happen that makes you want to enact this non-consensual scene?"
My heart begins to race in my chest. My mouth dries. Don’t look away. Don’t.
I firm my lips and hold his gaze. "As you said, we are snowed in and away from everyone else. Nobody can reach us; we can’t leave either. This is the only time in my life when I don’t have the responsibilities of my job. Not to mention that I‘m not currently at the beck-and-call of the rest of the Mafia."
"When you become my wife—"
"Fake wife."
He scowls. "Fake wife," he corrects himself. "When you become my fake wife, you won’t be a doctor to the rest of the clan anymore."
"Does Michael know that?"