"Let go." I don’t bother to lower my voice. I try to kick out, and he grabs my other leg. He pries them apart, and I pant as I try to pull away. He releases my feet, but before I can scramble forward, he’s heaved his bulk up and partially onto me. I collapse to the floor, unable to move.
"What are you doing?" I hiss.
"Feeling up what’s mine," he rumbles as he pushes his groin into the curve of my behind. The thick column of his arousal stabs me in the valley between my butt cheeks. My belly flutters, my core clenches, my nipples tighten, and damn him, but if I don’t get away, I’m going to push back against him and beg him to take me, and I’ll never be able to live with myself after that.
I stop struggling and force my muscles to uncoil. He plants his palms on either side of me, holding most of his weight off of me, except for his hips, which pin me down, ensuring that every inch of his throbbing length is imprinted against my panty-clad bottom. By now, the T-shirt I wore to bed is bunched up under my armpits. Supporting himself on one hand, he slides his hand under the fabric. His fingertips brush my breast, and I shiver. He closes his fingers around my flesh and squeezes. A moan spills from my lips.
"Fuck, the noises you make, Flower, they go straight to my head; you know that?"
He drags his hand down, then slides it under the waistband of my panties. He traces the valley between my butt cheeks and probes at my slippery entrance. The breath rushes out of me.
"Christian," I groan, "don’t do this."
"You mean this?" He scoops up some of the moisture from my cunt and drags it up and around my back hole.
I freeze, "Wh-why did you do that?"
"Why do you think?"
"Are you … you don’t mean to … do you?"
"Do what?" He probes at my puckered hole, and I huff. "Please, Christian… Please."
"What?"
"Please don’t."
He pauses, begins to pull away, and I turn on my back. He rises up to his feet, begins to head for the door, and something inside me seems to crack.
"Christian…"
He keeps going.
"Christian, please stop."
He pauses, "If I stay, I won’t be responsible for what I do next."
I swallow.
"You understand what I’m saying, Flower?"
I jerk my chin.
"You sure about this?"
I hesitate.
"If you aren’t…" He turns to leave, and this time, I jump up to my feet. I race over to him, throw my arms around his waist, and hold on.
"Don’t go, please don’t go."
His muscles turn to stone. He lowers his chin, no doubt taking in how I’m clinging to him.
"I know it’s stupid. I know I’m the one who asked Nonna to take me under her protection, so I wouldn’t be your captive any longer. And I’m still not sure about what you want to do to me, but I don’t want you to leave right now."
"You’re making this really difficult, you know that?"
"Yeah," I half-laugh half-sob, "tell me about it. When it comes to you, I‘m always confused about what I’m supposed to feel for you."