She laughs as she places minuscule portions of the food on her plate, "It’s the one thing that I can rely on. Food. It can’t hurt you or break a promise to you…" Her words trail off. She blinks rapidly, then smiles a little too brightly, "I love cooking, and I love feeding people. It fills something inside of me to see them enjoy what I make. After all, we are what we eat, right?"
"Right," I murmur, exchanging glances with Aurora, who shakes her head. Yeah, she’s right. This is not the time to delve into those cryptic comments. "So," I train my gaze on her, "did you always know that you wanted to become a doctor?"
Aurora tilts her head, "Actually, yes."
"You did?" Cassandra’s gaze widens, "Like when? I mean, how did you know that was your calling?"
Aurora glances down at her plate, then at us, "My mother was sick a lot when I was growing up. I accompanied her on her hospital visits, saw how the doctors helped her. In the end, they couldn’t save her, but I knew then, one day I was going to do my best to help other people too."
"I am so sorry for your loss," I reach for her hand and squeeze it, "I lost my mother when I was very young too."
"I lost a husband," Cassandra murmurs, then bites her lips. She turns back to the food and I glance at her shuttered face. Yeah, there is a lot of grief hidden under there, all right.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I venture, and she shakes her head.
"What about you?" she asks, "Fashion designing is obviously your passion."
"Yes, it is," I nod. "I became a fashion designer because it feels like a link to my mother."
"Was she a designer too?" Aurora asks.
"Not professionally, but from what my sister tells me, she loved experimenting with colors and patterns and styles. She stitched all of her own clothes, and my sister’s clothes. I never really knew her, but when I’m creating a design, when I am lost in the palettes and textures and immersed in images of what the finished product is going to look like, that’s when I am truly happy. That’s when I feel closest to her."
"You miss her?" Cassandra’s voice is soft.
"I never knew her," I glance down at my food, "but there was always a mom-shaped hole in my life; always will be."
"The pain never goes away." Aurora draws in a breath, "It just becomes a shadow that settles in your heart, one which you are not really conscious of, but which is always there when you look inside."
"And how does it feel now that you are going to become a mother, yourself?" Cassandra tilts her head at me, "Does it fill the hole in your heart somewhat?"
I start, shoot her a glance, but see only genuine curiosity on her features. Her choice of words though… It reminds me of the one secret that I am keeping from all of them…including myself. A secret which I hope I never have to acknowledge. Maybe if I ignore it long enough, it’ll stop being real. At least, I can hope.
"You okay?" Aurora puts down her plate of food, then reaches over to take my hand, "Maybe we should carry out that examination now?"
"Let’s finish our food first." I nod at her plate, "Please, I am completely okay, and I really want us to do justice to this tasty food that Cassandra has made for us."
"Speaking of," I frown, "it is you who cooked this food, right?"
She shoots me a curious glance, "Who else would cook?"
"Not that Larissa woman, who I met on the island, and who Michael introduced as his chef, I hope."
"He let go of her, shortly after," she replies.
"He did?" I blink.
"Yep, told her to pack her bags and leave the very next day."
"Oh, wow!" Another thing he’d done… For me? Because he knew I couldn’t stand the sight of her? I bite the inside of my cheek. Had I judged him that harshly? And this was even before I had become pregnant… Had he actually already begun to develop feelings for me then? I shake my head. Either way, it’s clear that he wants to make up for how things started between us. It’s why he’s allowed Aurora to resume her duties as my doctor. Something for which I am very grateful. Something which I hadn’t thought he’d do in a million years. He actually compromised on some of his beliefs for this… And that is huge. And I want to show him how much I appreciate it, in my own way. I turn to the both of them, "You are both coming to my Christmas party, obviously."
"We are?" Aurora frowns.
"We are?" Cassandra gapes.
"Of course, you are," I tell Aurora. "And you," I scowl at Cassandra, "you'd better be there, no excuses.