“Is she going to be my...mom?” his voice drops at the last word.
“Is that something you have been thinking about?”
“Yeah. I really like her. She’s super nice and she makes dog cookies that I can eat.”
Ethan laughs and I hold mine back.
“I can’t answer that question, buddy. We would be a lot of change for her and it’s not a decision that is taken lightly, or quickly ”
“Why would it be a lot of change? Doesn’t she wanna be a mommy?”
“Well, she’s never really been around kids besides her niece, Felicity, who’s just a baby. And as for being a mom...I don’t know for sure. These grown-up things take a lot of thinking.”
“Oh.” He pauses for a few seconds. “Well, I think she would make an awesome mom and I hope she wants to be my awesome mom.”
I slap my hand over my mouth and close my eyes to keep myself from sobbing. I push off the wall and walk back into the living room. Kids really know how to hit you where it matters. He really thinks I would be a good mom? And he wants me to be his mom? My body starts vibrating and I pace the length of the room, replaying in my head over and over what he said.
“You’re going to put a groove in the floor if you keep pacing like that,” Ethan says.
I jump and turn to him, chewing on my thumb nail, my other arm and hand wrapped around my stomach.
“Are you okay?” he asks as he walks to me.
I nod my head quickly.
“I don’t believe you. I mean, I know something is happening, but did something happen while I was putting Arthur to bed?” He puts his hands on my arms. “You’re shivering… What’s going on?”
“I heard you and Arthur talking. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been eavesdropping.” I hang my head and cover my face with my hands.
“Shhh, it’s okay,” he says then pulls me into his arms “I’m not mad. If that’s what you’re worried about.”
My hands move from my face to gripping his shirt. He rubs my back as I take deep breaths to calm myself. I pull his shirt to my face, inhaling his scent, and I feel my body relax. He’s right here. He’s not pushing me away, he’s not mad at me. I lean back a little and look up at him.
“I never wanted kids,” I tell him.
“I know that. You told me that after you found out I had a son.”
I back away from his hold.
“So, why did you want to keep dating me? I realize this is also my fault. I know I asked you a million questions. I think I got caught up in the romance of it all without really thinking about the whole mom aspect of it, but you...” A single tear rolls down my face and he catches it with his thumb, wiping it away.
“How I felt about you was different than any feelings I’ve had for anyone else. If I have to play the long game, then consider me the MVP.”
“This past week, I have thought a lot and I was ready to come here and break things off.”
“And now?” he asks.
My hands twist together as I stare into those hazel eyes I have grown so fond of.
“Now...now I can’t imagine living my life without you and Arthur.”
A smile spreads across his face, making the lines around his eyes crinkle. He takes a step to me, closing the space and grabbing me into a hug, lifting me from the ground. He snuggles his face into the nook of my neck. I laugh as I weave my fingers through his hair. I give it a small tug in the back so he will look up at me.
“I love you,” I tell him.
He lets my body slide down along his, then his hand cups my cheek while the other keeps me close.
“I love you, too.”