Besides work, this is my happy place. I finish my coffee as I walk back in my apartment then change into a cute blue circle skirt dress and add a white floral cardigan with little blue flowers that matches the dress. I slip on my black flats, grab my messenger bag and am out the door.
The library is only a few blocks away, so most mornings, I walk. It also gives me a chance to listen to the hustle and bustle of the birds starting their day. However, once the snow is here, my body needs the warmth of heated leather seats.
“Good morning, Sarah,” I hear from Ms. Baker’s who's standing on her front porch.
She’s the sweetest lady, and I bring her cookies whenever I make them, but since her husband died two years ago, she started collecting cats. Not to the point where someone needs to intervene, but enough that people have started to notice. She's officially become the local “crazy cat lady.”
“Good morning, Mrs. Baker.” I stop at the end of her walkway. “Did you have a good weekend?”
“Oh yes. Ms. Periwinkle had babies this weekend. They are so sweet.”
I’m not surprised one of her cats got knocked up. She doesn’t keep them in doors, and I don’t think she can afford to get them all fixed.
“That’s great. Will you be finding homes for them?”
“Yes, why? Do you want one?”
“Oh no.” I shake my head. “I can hardly keep my plants alive; I don’t know about an animal.”
She nods her head. “Ah, I see. Well, if you know anyone looking, send them my way.”
I turn to walk away. “Will do.” I wave bye and continue to the library. I unlock the doors and take a deep breath as I walk in. A weight lifts off my shoulders and I finally feel like I can breathe. I flip the light switches on. This is my safe space.
I make my way through the library to my office and get the day started, cataloging, and figuring out what youth events we will have going on this summer. And I know it’s early, but I already need to start thinking about the holidays.
The day flies by, and I didn’t even have time to think about...he who shall not be named.
I stay later than usual, making sure all the chairs are pushed in, the computers are shut down, there are no stray books lying around, and then I go to my favorite section. The romance section. Call me a sap, but I love a good love story.
I browse through the books, reading each title, as if I don’t have them all memorized. I run my fingers along the spines and occasionally pull one out, flip through it, and put it back. The feel of the pages as they graze along my fingers and the sound of them as they flip together is a sensory release for me.
Eventually I slide down the shelf and lean against the books, my legs out in front of me, my feet almost touching the shelf in front of me, and I pull out my phone.
I have been avoiding all my social media accounts because I don’t know how to handle it, but I have to start somewhere. I open one and go to my personal setting and change the status from “In a relationship” to “Single.” I go through post after post and delete picture after picture of us together. I’m not sure how far I go back, but when my eyes cross, I figure it’s time to go home and sleep.
I gather my things and give my wonderful library another look before I turn off the light and lock the doors.
On my way up to my apartment, I stop at the mailboxes. I haven’t checked mine in a few days, so I imagine it’s packed.
It is, but it’s mostly junk mail, a card from my mom and the envelope I had been waiting on.
Across the top, it reads “Talk Birdie to Me.”
The month-long trip I was waiting to tell Chad about. I wanted the packet beforehand so he could look over everything. I wasn’t even that sure that he would want to go with me, but I have been waiting to go for a couple of years, so I thought it would be something fun we could do together.
Once I am in my apartment, I set the envelope on the counter and walk away. I’ll open it another day, when the pain isn’t still so raw.
Chapter 4
Chris
“So,wait.Youaregoing to be one of the tour guides?” Grayson asks me. He just got back from a vacation to the Bahamas with his fiancée, Riley.
Riley came into his life like a hurricane and shook it up, but honestly, it was the best thing for him. The guy needed to figure his shit out. And watching him do it gave me the confidence to do something I have wanted to do for a few years now.
“Yup. Me and another guy will be the guides. Six states in one month and the last state is here.”
“Well, that makes it convenient.”