“I don’t mind at all, but today is that golf competition. You know they all come to the bar afterwards.”
That means amazing tips, but honestly, I need to sleep this off.
“I’m sure. You take all of them tips.”
148
T. SPEAR
“I won’t complain. Hope you feel better soon.”
“Thanks.”
I hang up and call Gennie but get her voice mail.
“Hey Gennie, it’s Grayson. I’m not feeling great. I already called Olivia, and she said she would cover for me tonight. I should be good to go tomorrow.”
I hang up and lay back down in my bed. I will myself to sleep but my mind won’t stop. I realize after an hour that I am not the one who is going to be able to help me. Not right now.
I text my mom.
Me: Are you busy?
Mom: Nope.
Me: Can I come over?
Mom: Of course.
Me: Thanks. Be there soon
I take a quick shower and drive to my parents’ house. If there is anyone in the world who won’t judge me for my actions, it’s my mom.
I pull into the driveway, and she is sitting outside on the patio swing.
“Hi, Grayson,” my mom says to me as I walk over to her.
Then she takes a second to look at my face. She stands and opens her arms to me. I fall into her embrace and start sobbing.
She rubs her hand over my head.
WHEN YOU'RE READY
149
“Shhh shhh, It’s okay, honey. Whatever it is.”
Once I get myself under control, I pull away, and we sit on the swing. She puts her hand on my knee.
“Now, tell me what’s going on.”
I take a deep breath and spill everything that’s on my mind. I tell her about how I have been feeling about being in Montana, how I have felt lost and out of place. I tell her about everything with Riley, minus the sleeping together part and how much it hurt when she left. And then to top it off, Lenard. Which she already knew about. I saw her at the funeral, and I think she knew then that my sadness was about more than his passing.
“It kind of feels like it is one thing after another. I can’t seem to keep my head above water and I’m lost.”
“You have definitely been dealing with some hard things. I saw how you were with Riley, and I could tell you cared for her. And I understand having hope that she would change her mind and I’m sorry she didn’t.”
I nod my head a few times.