Chapter One
Ishouldhaveknown when he started changing and pulling away from me. Not wanting to hold my hand or go to bed with me. Those should have been my signs.
But instead, I thought if I stuck it out. Work with him through the changing seasons, that it would work. That we could still make this our happily ever after.
He wants different things in life. He said that after he got fired from the mine, it changed him. He thought that’s what he wanted to do. Then, when he started looking around at his options, he was not living his best life.
Now he wants to leave the state, travel around and work. I don’t even know what that means. Is he going to be like a Gypsy? How is that better? Not knowing where your next job is, how you’re going to eat your next meal. Where is he going to sleep?
All that shit I shouldn’t care about, but I do. I told him he will always have a place in my heart, no matter what. That if he ever needs me for anything, I am a phone call away.
It’s a weird feeling, though, being alone again. Not having someone to lean on. I have my friends, but a spouse is different. They have seen you at your hardest times, your worst moments.
He was there when my dad died. I felt like my world had stopped. Nothing around me seemed real. I stayed in bed for days, not talking, hardly sleeping, just staring out the window.
He was there when I had one of the worst panic attacks. I was on the bathroom floor sobbing, screaming. Every muscle in my body yelling. Then the next morning, I felt like I got hit by a truck. Even my eyes hurt.
I will forever be thankful for him, and I hope he knows. My heart hurts and I think it always will, a little, but I know in the end, this is what’s best. I don’t want to hold him back from being his best self.
He left this evening to go spend time with his parents while I pack what I need to have with me. He said it will be a few weeks at least until he leaves, so I’ll have time to move everything else out.
What do you take with you when you leave? The essentials? What are the essentials? Clothes, shoes, and bathroom stuff, I suppose.
I pack enough stuff to last me a week without doing laundry. Then I grab my keys, look around the place I have called my home for so long, and walk out the door.
Never again will I come here to rest my head. This will never again be a place where I can relax and de-stress. This house will become a home for another couple. The memories will fade into the walls, the laughter will seep out through the windows, and the love will dissipate into the floors.
Kellyiswaitingfor me at the front door when I pull into her driveway. She has a robe wrapped around her and bright pink fluffy slippers on. I hear the screen door shut as I open the car door.
“Come here, Piper.” she says with her arms wide open.
I fall into them. Sobs rip through my body. My chest hurts.
“I know it hurts right now, but this pain will subside. It will get better, and you will continue on to living your life to the fullest.”
I nod my head as I hold onto her tighter. She and I have been friends for five years. We haven’t always been the closest, but we are always there for each other. We are the kind of friends that can go six months withoutt but then get back together like we never skipped a beat.
“I know, Kelly. I know it’s only temporary,” I say as I pull away and wipe the tears from my eyes.
She follows me to the back of my car and grabs one of the bags from the trunk.
“I have your room all set up. You can change anything you want to be more comfortable. My home is your home.”
“I really appreciate you. I hope you know that.”
“Anything you need, Hun.”
I follow her into the house and up the stairs to the spare room. It’s plain, but that doesn’t matter. It’s exactly what I need right now. I set my bags down, then follow her back down the stairs to the kitchen.
“You want a drink?”
“I would love one.”
She grabs two glasses from the cupboard and fills them with white wine.
“Let’s go sit on the deck. It’s such a nice night.”
I nod my head as she hands me the glass.