SIXTEEN
We finally cleanedup and got dressed—Dax still in his dirty sweats and shirt, because he’d left his duffel bag by the couch—and then headed out to my living room.
The scene in front of me as we stepped out of my room was surreal. The pack seemed to have made themselves at home, with a few people cooking in my kitchen while a few others sat on couches or at the kitchen table, talking. Felix and Evan were running around, playing with a few toys that I stored in the ottoman for when Ev came over, and music played from the Bluetooth speaker on my countertop.
My first emotion was one of discomfort. I wasn’t sure I liked having everyone there, acting like my place was theirs. I still didn’t really feel like they were my pack.
But they were Dax’s family, and I did want him to have his family there. Plus, I would’ve had to be stupid not to expect them to show up. They couldn’t have known that my wolf had finally settled before they got there, so they had no reason to expect me to be naked, or having sex with Dax, or… healthy, even. Which meant they had no reason to expect Dax to be healthy either.
So they were probably worried, and just trying to take care of him with food like they’d insisted they would. And that was really, really sweet.
I just wished I’d never met them while I was still human; maybe then I wouldn’t feel like such an outsider.
A few of the other women gave me hugs, welcoming me to the pack and joking about how glad they were that me and Dax had worked things out. I laughed with them, but not enthusiastically. It would be a long time before I got over the fact that I hadn’t been one of them for so long before being accepted; and longer before I really embraced pack life.
I was a fairly friendly person, but after the life I’d lived, I’d had to set boundaries. People who didn’t want me before they knew I had money didn’t get to be a part of my life; people who didn’t treat me like I belonged before I had a werewolf mate would get the same treatment.
Or at least, I felt like they should get the same treatment. I wasn’t sure how I would move on from that; I was most definitely a grudge-holder.
Lizzy kept eyeing me while I played friends with the other werewolf chicks. I wondered whether or not Dax could tell that I wasn’t comfortable, but decided after a while that he couldn’t tell. And that was probably for the better, considering they were his pack and he probably wanted me to fit in and enjoy it.
I didn’t know how I’d tell him that I wasn’t interested, but I guessed I’d just have to wait and see when the time was right.
Dax and I ended up snuggled into the corner of one of my couches, my hips pressed between him and the couch, his arm around my shoulders.
Honestly, I was pretty exhausted, but I didn’t say that either. What was the point of offending people, or risking hurting Dax’s feelings? I wanted things to work out between us. I wanted us to be on the same page, to be best friends. To be a team.
Offending the people he already currently thought of as his team wouldn’t get me anywhere near where I wanted to go with him, so I kept my mouth shut.
We ate the food Zed had cooked—it was incredible, but I already knew it would be. I had eaten with them before, and I ate at the restaurant whenever I worked there, so it wasn’t exactly a surprise. But I still thanked him, even though we were frenemies.
The meal was just a massive lunch, and everyone hung out and wanted to chat afterward, as if they didn’t have anywhere else to be. I supposed that some of them might’ve had to call in sick to work to be there, so I should’ve been grateful. And I knew I should’ve been grateful; I just didn’t have the emotional capacity in the moment.
They all finally started trickling out when it neared two in the afternoon, and honestly, I was relieved when my house started to clear out. Lizzy was the only one I really wanted to talk to, but Evan was already passed out in Elliot’s arms, so they were among the firsts to leave because they wanted to get him into bed.
When the last of them left—Dax locked the door behind them—I fought the urge to collapse on the couch and sleep until life got easier.
Instead, I got up and headed to our room.
“You okay?” Dax checked, eyeing me like he could tell something was up.
“I’m good.” I forced a smile. “Just a little peopled-out. I need a bath, and a book.” We’d been partway through our shower when everyone got there, and then we’d had sex, so I didn’t think he’d find it suspicious that I wanted a bath.
“Mind if I join you?” He was still looking at me in a way that made me think he was onto me.
“Sure.” I flashed him a smile that probably looked real. Hopefully.
He grabbed his duffel bag from where it sat beside the couch before he followed me into the bedroom.
I grabbed my Kindle Oasis off my nightstand before slipping into the bathroom, and set it on the ledge of the tub before I turned on the water and started stripping. Though I had a whole library of books in the other room, I was not the kind of person who risked having a book in the tub. I was just too clumsy—and too careful with them. My books were my babies, and my pets since I’d been allergic to animals for so long.
I hadn’t had any kind of a reaction to Dax’s wolf, though, so hopefully I was cured of that now that I could turn furry too.
Dax walked in as I finished stripping, his eyes slowly sliding up and down my figure. When I saw the Kindle in his hand too, I just about melted into a pile of horny goo.
“You’ve got an Oasis too?” I asked, gesturing to the device.
He flashed me a small grin. “Nope, it’s a mini iPad. I tried both, but liked this one more.”