NINETEEN
“You’re being quiet again,”Zed pointed out.
“I feel like I’ve just spilled way too much of my soul to you,” I grumbled, tilting my head to lean up against the window.
“My older brother is an alpha,” Zed offered.
I glanced over at him, and found him relaxed, but serious.
“My parents are, too. Our family’s just them, Zach—my brother—and me. They never said they were disappointed by what I was, but I could feel it. There was always the comparison, the complaint. I preferred to be alone sometimes, which alphas never do. And when I see someone in trouble my instinct isn’t to reach out a hand and help—it’s to step back, and take in my surroundings.”
“I love my family, but I’ve never felt like I belonged with them. I’m always the odd one out, the loner, the rebel. As a kid, the one thing I was always applauded for was cooking, so I dove all in. It became an escape for me, and then a career. And I was damned good at it.” His lips tilted upward slightly.
“Why do you say that like it’s over?”
He shot me a curious glance. “You come first, obviously.”
Obviously.
He said that like it was a given. Like all of my life, I’d expected to meet my hairy Prince Charming and be treated like a damned queen.
“I don’t want you to give up what you love for me. And you know I love your cooking.”
“You’ve never said so.”
My eyebrows lifted, and I sat up straighter.
I hadn’t.
Damn, I was a shitty mate.
“Well, I do love your cooking. I’ll try to be better about saying that. I’m not really good at this.” I gestured between us, making a face. “Relationships. I suck at them. Even just friendship ones—you can ask Del.”
“Del talks about you all the time. She never had a problem with your traveling; all she ever said was how glad she was to have you, and how often she talked to you.”
I shrugged a bit awkwardly. “Well, I don’t feel good at them.”
“Does anyone? I sure as hell don’t.”
Something about the admission made me feel better about pretty much everything in my life, for whatever reason.
“Thanks for telling me about your family. Knowing that I’m not the only outsider makes me feel a little better.”
“I don’t think that was a compliment,” Zed drawled.
It took me a minute to realize he was teasing me. Grinning, I swatted him on the arm. “Asshole.”
“On the other hand, I’m starting to think that is a compliment.”
I sighed dramatically. “You should not be learning my language already, werewolf.”
“I’d say the opposite is true, mate.”
A sign for gas stations coming up caught my eye, and I pointed quickly. “Oh, take this exit. They have a special flavor of soda that I love.”
“Don’t think I didn’t notice that change of topic, July,” he teased, as he took the exit.
I’d never laughed when someone called me by the wrong month, but that time, I laughed. “I really do want soda. It makes me a little sick, but I don’t actually vomit when I drink it, and since it tastes so good it’s worth it. I’m not uncomfortable with the mate thing; honestly, I don’t think I understand it well enough to be uncomfortable with it at this point.”