Del: Not sold on Zed yet?
Me: Idk
Me: Don’t know if I can ever trust a guy again.
Del: Because of your dad, or Stewart?
Me: Dad, mostly. Stewart was just the nail in the coffin.
Del: Maybe you should go talk to him while you’re in Jackson.
Me: Way to bring down my road-trippin’ vibes.
Del: I’m serious, Jay. Closure might be good for you.
Me: I knew he was an asshole before I agreed to date him.
Del: I’m not talking about the dating part, and you know it.
Del: You were friends. You cared about him, and not because he was your boyfriend. Just think about it.
I sighed.
Me: Fine, I’ll think. But don’t expect it
Del: K
Del: Felix is up, gtg
I shut my phone off and leaned back against the seat.
“Everything okay?” Zed checked.
“Yeah. Del’s just trying to talk me into going to see my ex,” I admitted.
He shot me a confused look.
“It’s a long story,” I explained.
“We’ve got nothing but time.”
I stared out the window for a few minutes, trying to decide what to tell him. We’d already established that he wasn’t going to change his mind—but that he was going to rip the heads off of any other guys who tried to have their way with me. And that according to him, he would never hurt me.
But my dad had said that, too.
And so had Stewart.
I’d believed them both, at different times, and both had proven me wrong in different ways.
“I was a freshman in college. I was hopeful, then, that things might be different. When I grew up, I lived in a trailer, and it was bad. Everything was bad, really, except Del. She was always there for me. My dad was abusive in pretty much every way—I still won’t give you the details, so don’t ask. But college felt like a fresh start.” My eyes were focused out the window; I didn’t want to see Zed’s face as I spoke.
A large, warm hand landed on my thigh. The pressure was light, but it felt good. It felt right.
“Stewart, my ex, was in my Intro to Videography class. I was excited about it, and we ended up as partners for the semester somehow. He knew I wasn’t planning on dating, but we became friends. Best friends, I thought. Del was pretty much my sister, so she didn’t really count. Stewart and I got close enough that by the end of the semester, I trusted him enough to finally agree to the date he wanted me to go out on. And when we went out, everything felt perfect.”
My damned eyes watered.
Maybe Del was right, and I was still holding a grudge.