FIFTEEN
Zed crasheddown on the countertop next to me a few hours later as relaxation finally rolled through my body, accompanying the last who-knew-how-many orgasms. He was on his back, me on my belly, and the sun was rising off to our side.
“Wow,” I sighed, my cheek resting on a layer of sticky who-knew-what. At that point, we were both covered in a layer of frosting, cake bits, and bodily fluids.
“Damn,” Zed groaned, his eyes closing. “We should’ve done that sooner.”
“No kidding,” I murmured, starting to get tremendously sleepy. My body was a nasty mess, but I was too tired to care. After weeks of feeling so horny, and then having so damned much sex…
Yeah, I needed a good, long sleep.
“Come on, beautiful. You need a shower.”
I groaned at the idea of standing for that long. My legs may as well have been jelly. “Make it a bath.”
He chuckled. “Alright. Bath it is.” Zed’s arms engulfed me, and my cheek plopped against his chest as he hauled me up the stairs.
Things had definitely changed between us.
But… how much?
Zed sat on the ledge of the tub, tucking my legs away from the water before he turned it on. The water had to be cold, but he didn’t seem to mind as he held my body to his.
My cheek was still on his chest, but my mind moved sluggishly to determine if and how things should change, and what I should do.
Biting my lip, I whispered, “Zed…”
“Mmhm?” His hand moved slowly over my back, not seeming to mind any of the stickiness.
“I…” I trailed off again, not sure exactly what to say, or what I wanted.
“You warned me that you were just using me,” he said gently. “I knew what I was getting into, even if I didn’t feel the same way.”
I nodded a bit.
“You want me to leave you to wash yourself?” he asked. His expression was serious, and I knew he would leave if I asked him to, but there was something in his eyes.
Something… wistful.
Like he expected to lose me.
“I…” I started again, about to tell him I did want him to leave. But with that look in his eyes, I just couldn’t. “I’ve had bad experiences with men,” I said instead.
He dipped his head in a nod, clearly listening. There was no judgment in his eyes, which made it easier for me to spill my thoughts.
Averting my eyes from those gorgeous greens, I admitted, “I don’t want to talk about it. Not now. Probably not ever. But you should know, it’s not you. It’s me. I can’t do this, whatever it is, fast. Not emotionally, at least. If you want to do it anyway, we’ll have to go slow. Really slow. I know we’re tied together through our wolves, but I won’t be ready to commit for a long time. If ever. And I won’t go any further than this unless you’re absolutely sure that you’re okay with that, and you’re not going to push me for more. Because if you push me, it’s over.”
Zed’s knuckles dipped under my chin, and he tilted my face up until our eyes met again. “I want to be sure I understand what you’re saying before I make a decision here.”
“Alright.” I swallowed roughly.
“You’re okay with being a couple, sharing a bed, having sex, the whole nine yards, as long as I don’t pressure you to put on a wedding dress and say some vows.”
“Yes.” I nodded slightly, and his fingers moved with me. “We would still be mates in werewolf terms—I know there’s no getting away from that—but in human terms, we would be dating, and living together. Not engaged, definitely not married. If I decided I wanted to end things, we would figure out a way to coexist without any of the sex or romance, and just be friends because of our wolves.”
“And if I agreed to this anti-commitment thing, you’d let me feed you, and take care of you?”
“When have I ever said no to your food?”