“Me, too,” he replied, absently smoothing his hand up and down my back.
I lifted my head to look at him. “Really?”
He nodded, his warm brown eyes fixed on mine. “We both loved her. Seems only right that we’re both here together, supporting each other now she’s gone.”
“It does, doesn’t it?” I whispered, caught up in the heat of Adam’s gaze. Our faces were only inches apart. I lifted a hand, cupping his cheek and smoothing my thumb across his neatly trimmed beard. I wanted so badly to close that small distance between us and capture his mouth with mine.
“Belle,” Adam said roughly, seeing the blatant desire in my eyes.
I blinked. Once again, I’d overstepped. Allowed my fantasies to control me. I needed to get myself together, stop yearning for things I couldn’t—
My thoughts were cut short by the shock of Adam’s mouth on mine. For a second, I was frozen, wondering if I was dreaming. But only for a second because then every nerve ending in my body sprang to life as his tongue speared past my lips.
Time stopped.
Then re-started in a rush of sensation.
Adam groaned into my mouth, and my heart pounded out of my chest as his tongue slid against mine, tasting, teasing. My first real kiss, and this man was ruining me for anyone else with just his lips. My body was singing, my nipples tingling, my pussy throbbing. If this was the effect he had on me with just a kiss, what would it feel like to have him inside me, stretching me, pressing me into the mattress with his big body?
A moan worked its way up my throat as I pressed myself against him, falling headlong into the kiss. All other thoughts were forgotten as his hands slid down my back and gripped my hips, dragging me onto his lap so I was straddling him. My dress rode up, exposing my thighs, but I didn’t care. I was lost. Lost in this man, in the magic he was creating with his mouth and his tongue.
I kissed him back greedily, threading my fingers through his hair and memorizing his taste in case I never got to experience this again. He broke the kiss, and I shivered as he trailed his lips down my neck.
“Adam,” I moaned, grinding myself against the prominent bulge in his pants as I sought release from the tension holding my body in its grip.
My moan seemed to bring him to his senses, and he pulled back, smoothing my hair away from my flushed cheeks and resting his forehead against mine.
“Damn, Belle, I shouldn’t be doing this. I’m taking advantage. We just buried your grandmother,” he said, his gravelly voice sending shivers down my spine. “We can’t let ourselves forget that this marriage is temporary. What kind of man would I be if I took advantage of you? Of the situation?”
His words hit me like a bucket of ice water. “A red-blooded one. One who’s not afraid to admit he wants me as much as I want him,” I said numbly, climbing off his lap and smoothing my dress with trembling hands.
“Belle—"
“We’ve been dancing around each other for the last two months, Adam, pretending that morning in my bed didn’t happen. But I’m done pretending. I woke up on fire, with your very hard dick pressed against my ass and your thumb rubbing my nipple,” I said, hands on hips, chin held high as I kept my gaze locked on his. “You want me. So what are you afraid of?”
“I’m not afraid, Belle. I’m just trying to be sensible,” he replied, scrubbing a frustrated hand over his face. “For a start, I’m too damned old for you. And then there’s the fact that you and I will go our separate ways in eight months. I’ll be here, running this place as per your grandmother’s wishes, and you’ll go back to your life in Medicine Bow. Getting involved will just make things more complicated than they already are.”
“Things are only as complicated as you make them,” I stated.
Adam blew out a frustrated breath. “Getting physically involved just isn’t a good idea. It’ll only end in tears.”
I glared at him, deciding to go for broke. Better to regret trying than not—right? “You just don’t get it, do you? It doesn’t have to end at all. We can make this a real marriage. I’ve had feelings for you for as long as I can remember, Adam. I’ve never let another man close to me because none of them were you.”
Adam’s brow furrowed. “You’re ten years younger than me, Belle. You’re just finding your path in life, starting a career. I won’t let you sacrifice your future because you have some misplaced crush on me.”
Misplaced crush? Is that what he thought this was? “What about you, Adam? What do you want?”
“It doesn’t matter what I want,” he said wearily. “I promised Cora I’d look after you, make sure Robert doesn’t get his hands on this place, and that’s exactly what I intend to do. Cora took me in after my parents died. I owe her everything. I won’t betray her memory or her trust by taking advantage of her granddaughter, no matter how much I might want—” He ground to a halt, pressing his lips together.
My heart stopped and then thudded heavily against my ribcage at the words he’d left unsaid. “You want me, too,” I breathed.
“Yes, I want you,” he bit out, his brown eyes molten with desire as he rose to his feet and prowled toward me. “I want to strip you bare and feast on every inch of your body. I want to bury myself in your tight pussy, hear you scream my name as I make you come around my cock. I want to leave my mark on you, so deep, that I’ll wreck you for any other man. But I can’t because once I’ve been inside you, I’ll never be able to let you go.”
My thighs trembled, and desire coated my panties at the erotic images his words elicited. I swallowed hard. “What if I don’t want you to let me go?”
His jaw flexed, and he clenched his fists at his sides. He closed his eyes briefly, pulling in a steadying breath. “I won’t take your future from you, Belle. This,” he waved a finger between us, “is a marriage of necessity. It’s about making sure your future is secure, not tying you down to a man a decade older than you before you’ve even had the chance to live.”
I could see the resolve in his eyes. He thought he was doing the right thing. The noble thing. Part of me admired that, admired his loyalty to Grams. The other part wanted him to toss me on the sofa and do every one of those delicious things he’d just described so eloquently.
He thought I didn’t know my own mind, that I didn’t know what I wanted. He was wrong. I knew exactly what I wanted, and I knew just how to go about getting it.
I nodded. “Okay, Adam. I understand.”
His blond eyebrows almost rose into his hairline. “You do?”
He clearly hadn’t been expecting me to cave so easily. I may have lost this battle, but I hadn’t lost the war. Adam wanted me. He’s just confessed as much, but even if he hadn’t, I’d seen it in his eyes, felt it in the tremble of his hands as he’d held me.
I nodded again. “You think you know what’s best for me, but you don’t. So, I’m just going to have to show you what you’re missing.”
With that, I turned and left the room, leaving him to ponder on my words.