Dear Diary,
I’m officially in the third trimester! I’m so excited to have this baby and to be a mother. I can’t wait to hold my little girl in my arms, to cuddle her and play with her. Vince feels the same. He is so sweet, always talking to my belly and rubbing it. Vince is even more protective now that I’m starting to show. You should see the way he runs around, making sure I have everything that I need. I know that he’s going to be the best dad. Our little girl is going to be so lucky and she is already so loved. I can’t wait for July to be here so that I can finally hold my little girl in my arms.
I don’t realize I’m crying until Campbell is pulling me into his arms and wiping the tears from my face.
“What is it, princess?”
“That wasn’t the father that I got.” I sob into his chest.
I hand him the diary and he reads the passage I read while I curl into his side and cry. Campbell closes the diary when he’s done and wraps both arms around me. He shushes me, rocking me back and forth as I cry for the family that I never got to have. For both of the parents that I lost the day that I was born.
Chapter Twelve
Campbell
Salem has been quiet for the last couple of days and I don’t know how to pull her out of it. I know grief after losing someone is normal but I still don’t like seeing sad or upset. I’ve been letting her sleep in while I go out at dawn to work on the farm. We still haven’t decided what to do with her father’s house or land but I’m not in any rush. I don’t want to push her before she’s ready.
I finish up for the morning and head back to the house to eat lunch with Salem. We’ve been getting into a routine over the last couple of days and I’m amazed at how comfortably Salem fits into my life here. She’s been settling in at the house and she started to move stuff around and decorate it the way that she likes.
I walk up to the house, expecting to find Salem curled up on the couch with her mother’s diary. She’s been reading it over and over again ever since she found it. I’ve read it too and the love that her mother and father obviously had for her is written on every page.
I had been thinking that Salem’s grief was for the loss of her father but after talking with her about the diary I realize it’s more than that. She’s not just grieving her father’s death but also the loss of what could have been. My parents have always been loving and supportive of me so it’s hard for me to relate but I’m trying.
I walk into the house and look to the couch but find it empty. I make my way into the kitchen to find Salem at the stove. She’s barefoot with her long hair braided and hanging over one shoulder. She’s wearing one of her usual dresses that I love so much and as she turns to smile at me it flits around her thighs. She finally ordered some new clothes and they should be here any day now. I’m going to miss seeing her running around in her dresses but it will be nice to have her be able to come out to the barn with me. I’ve been dying to show her all of the land or to take her for a horseback ride.
I walk over to her, dropping a kiss on her lips as she smiles up at me. She wraps her arms around my neck and her fingers immediately find their way into my beard. It’s gotten longer and I was wondering if I should trim it but she seems to like it and until she tells me otherwise, I’ll just let it grow.
“You seem happy, princess.” I comment as she leans up and kisses me.
I kiss her back and smile down at her. It’s nice to see her so happy again.
“Yeah, I think I finally got my head wrapped around everything.”
“I’m happy to hear that Salem.”
“Just… will you promise me something?”
“Anything, princess.”
“If we have kids, and something happens to me, promise me that you’ll never change and treat them the way that my father treated me.”
“Of course, Salem. I’ll love our kids, no matter what. I would never hurt them. I can promise that I will always protect them and treat them right.”
She nods against me before wrapping her arms tighter around my waist. We hug for a minute before we break apart and she shows me what she made for lunch. She’s been trying out more and more recipes and I can tell that she really likes to cook. She’s been talking about these new copper pots and pans that she saw online and I ordered them to surprise her. They should be here today and I can’t wait to see her face when she opens the box.
Today, she’s made some kind of quiche with broccoli and ham and carrots. She made some kind of soup and a salad to go with it and it all smells delicious. I help her carry everything over to the table and she tells me about some new brownie recipe that she wants to try. She chatters on about some different recipes and asks if I’ve ever heard about this website called Pinterest. Apparently, it’s an incredible place to find recipes. I smile at how sweet she is and add getting her a cell phone to my to do list. Speaking of phones.
“My parents called. They’re planning a trip up from Florida. They’re pretty annoyed that they weren’t here for the wedding. They’re excited to finally meet you though.”
Salem seems nervous and I lean over. “They’re going to love you, princess. I promise.”
She asks me questions about them while we eat and I tell her about how they already know all about her. That I always told them that she was the girl that I was going to marry. She smiles at that and seems to be more relaxed about them coming.
We finish lunch and I help her with the dishes. We talk about our honeymoon again and finally narrow it down to two places. I’ll leave that up her to decide; I don’t care where we go as long as we’re together.
“Have you decided what you want to do with the land? Or the house?” I ask carefully.
“Not yet. We need to tear the house down; it’s not safe, but as for the rest… well, I’m still thinking about it.”