Gavin's eyes widened, a hint of distress in his gaze. Immediately, Shannon zeroed in on his birth father. Mathias handed the child back to Gavin, who took a deep breath and slowly calmed down.
“It's been a bit of a roller coaster,” Dean explained. “Even we, as werewolves, have been poorly prepared for some things that were thrown at us.”
Mathias could understand that. “Well, I will help in any way I can. I made a mistake at the Gathering. I can admit that, just as freely as I admit I'm not completely over Will. But you can count on me to assist you with this, and anything you might need.”
Shannon nuzzled into Gavin's chest, and Mathias decided it was time for him to leave the Lone Wolf Pack. “I'll come back tomorrow,” he promised. “With your permission, I could look over Shannon, as well as Parker.”
“Yes,” Finn said almost too quickly. “We'd appreciate that a lot.”
They each said their goodbyes, and this time, the words were clearly warmer and more welcoming than before. However, Will was the one to lead Mathias out. As they reached Mathias's car, Will leaned against the hood and stared up at the sky. Mathias waited, letting Will gather his thoughts. He was not disappointed.
When Will faced him again, his familiar, beautiful eyes seemed shadowed by confusion and hurt. "I think I wronged you, Mathias. I genuinely thought I was doing the right thing when I left, but I hurt you. In a way... I can't really say I'd do things differently if I could go back, but I'm still sorry for the pain I put you through."
"It's not your fault," Mathias said automatically. "I can't deny I regret it ever got to that, but you did the right thing for yourself and for Jessie. I missed both of you so much... It's my only excuse for what I did at the Gathering. You were already in pain and I just made you suffer more, and I can't forgive myself for that."
Will's fingers twitched, like he wanted to reach out to Mathias, but refrained at the last moment. "In the end, you did help us, and you saved Dean from execution. I haven't forgotten that. But... It's also not easy for me to erase the mental image of you attacking him. I want to say 'water under the bridge', but I can't, not yet."
"I understand. I'll be patient. I hope to at least gain your friendship again."
Mathias retrieved a bag from the car with the barest of the necessities and left everything else in Will's care. Will still seemed taken aback by Mathias's decision to sleep in the wild, but he didn't push Mathias to stay. As he headed into the forest, Mathias's heart felt paradoxically lighter and more burdened.
He'd made a promise to Jessie, and he had every intention of keeping it. Then why did this feeling of melancholy linger? Why did it pull him away from Will? What else was there here in Willow Cove?
Mathias rubbed his chest, but the ache refused to go away. Maybe the emotional roller coaster of the day had affected him more than expected.
The fresh air, the scent of wet leaves and the whisper of the wind helped, but only to a certain extent. Mathias's more beast-like instincts tugged at his insides, guiding him, nudging him forward. He stumbled onto a small cave of sorts, dug into heavy rock by time and the elements. Once he made sure it didn't have any animal occupants, Mathias deemed it safe enough. He threw up a few wards that would warn other creatures from approaching and left his bag there. As quickly as possible, he slid out of his clothes and let the shift flow over him.
After all these years, the change came naturally to him, as effortless as taking a breath or twitching his fingers. Back when he'd been a child, he'd struggled a lot, because his magic rebelled against it, confused by the fundamental differences between man and beast.
With a great deal of training, he'd achieved a balance. It had cost him, and a part of him was still buried, but Mathias didn't want to think about that now. He reached for that same equilibrium in an attempt to soothe his wounded, confused heart. In seconds, he was on four paws, his awareness of the world around him shifting at the same time his flesh did.
In this form, everything always seemed so vibrant, so alive, so alluring. As a man, Mathias found peace in the forest. As a wolf, he sought freedom.
Following that impulse, Mathias shot out of the warded cave. He started to run, allowing his wolf and his magic to lead the way. He had no idea where he was going, but for once, he was happy to embrace it.