Prologue
“ButWill...Thisiscompletely unnecessary. I never wanted you to leave.”
Will didn’t look at Mathias as he added two more items of clothing in his bag. One of them was a tiny sweater—just the right size for a toddler—and Mathias’s heart clenched. “Will, please...”
Finally, his longtime friend turned toward him. His eyes were tortured and guilty when he met Mathias’s gaze. “I want to stay, Matt. God only knows Jessie loves you and I... Well, you’re incredibly dear to me.”
He hesitated and swallowed heavily, but Mathias heard what he didn’t say, what that pause in Will’s speech meant. Will didn’t love him, not as a man, not beyond the bond of friendship they shared—not like Mathias wanted.
It hurt, but Mathias knew he could learn to accept it if only Will agreed to stay. “Will, I understand your point, and I respect your decision. But none of this means you have to go.”
Will bit his lower lip, and despite himself, Mathias was drawn by the unconscious gesture, hypnotized by the sight of Will’s full mouth. He jumped guiltily when he realized he’d been staring and tried to avert his gaze, but it was too late. Will had already spotted his little indiscretion.
“I wish I could give you what you need, Matt,” the human said, his breath catching as if he was suppressing his tears. “I wish I couldbewhat you want, but I’m not. And I know that you care about Jessie and me. If not for you, we might not even be alive. I owe you more than I could ever express, but you deserve more than gratitude, more than the friendship I can offer. The very least I can do is give you some space to find what you truly need.”
Mathias knew the human meant well, but he’d searched for a mate for the better part of four centuries. All throughout his long years, he’d never experienced a genuine pull toward anyone—until he’d met Will.
But Will already had a mate, a werewolf named Dean Simmons. Mathias’s hope had been that Will’s heartbreak over Dean’s betrayal would allow him to step in, but Will still loved the father of his son, and the pressure Mathias had put on him would now have him lose the closest thing he had to a family.
He could ask no more of Will. Doing so might shatter their relationship altogether, and Mathias couldn’t risk that.
Swallowing around the knot in his throat, Mathias nodded. “At least promise me that you’ll keep in contact. I’d be out of my mind with worry if I didn’t know what happened to you and Jessie.”
His friend’s expression softened considerably. “Of course, Matt. I’ll find a way to let you know how things are going for us. And don’t be so concerned. You’ve trained me well.”
That was true, and it provided some measure of comfort for Mathias. He had been horrified when he’d run into the then-pregnant human in a filthy bathroom near the Canadian border. Despite his courage and determination, Will had been largely helpless. Not anymore. Mathias had made sure that Will would be able to defend himself and his son if he ever needed to.
It didn’t make it any easier for him to let Will and Jessie go. “When are you leaving?” he asked, barely managing to keep a tremor out of his voice.
“Tonight. There’s a bus I want to—”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Mathias interrupted his friend. “Take the car.”
Will sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. “Matt, I already feel bad enough about this. I can’t take more from you.”
“It’s just an object, Will,” Mathias answered, fixing his friend with a steady look. “Don’t be stubborn. You know you’re going to need it, if not for yourself, for Jessie.”
Mentioning the boy was a surefire way to get Will to agree to most anything, and predictably, Will did exactly that. “You’re right, of course. I’ll find a way to pay you back, I promise.”
Mathias waved his friend’s words off. The car was just a convenience. He could buy another one tomorrow if he needed it. “You taking it is enough.”
Before Will could answer, a wolf pup bounded into the room, woofing gleefully. He sniffed Mathias’s leg and looked at both him and Will, as if sensing the seriousness of the conversation.
Will chuckled and picked his son up. “Ugh... You’re getting heavy. Soon, I might not be able to carry you.”
In response, Jessie licked Will’s cheek and set his head on Will’s shoulder. Smiling softly, Mathias scratched Jessie’s ear. Jessie turned his head, his tail wagging and his eyes dancing with glee and affection.
The next thing Mathias knew, a human toddler was jumping at him with a happy yelp. “Matt... Hug!”
Mathias enthusiastically complied, holding Jessie to his chest. “Yes, yes. I know. Brat.”
More than a decade had passed since Jessie’s birth, and Jessie still had trouble holding onto his human form. His birth had been quite traumatic, made worse by the fact that Will had desperately needed Dean next to him, and the blasted man had naturally not been there. But Mathias had taken over and pulled them all through. Slowly and surely, Jessie was getting better. “Tall!” he shouted again.
Taking his cue, Mathias lifted Jessie on his shoulders, and Jessie squealed in delight, clapping his hands. Will smiled fondly at them, and Mathias smiled back, even if a dull pain burned in his chest. Would Jessie forget him, forget all the games they’d played and the moments they’d shared? Would those memories fade away? How long would Will keep him out of their lives?
Jessie must have sensed something wasn’t right, because he stopped his whooping. He patted Matt’s head, gesturing to be lowered from his perch. Once more, Mathias complied, although he didn’t actually let Jessie down from his arms. Jessie didn’t ask for it. Instead, he hugged Mathias’s neck and kissed his cheek. “Love you.”
“Love you too, pup,” Mathias whispered. He saw Will averting his gaze and continuing his packing, and hated himself for forcing the three of them to go through with this separation.