After I left the station, I felt more in control of my life than I had in a year. I drove to Eric’s house in town, left his keys in the ignition, and walked home.
“Spill all the tea. Was it a big house? Did you have a blast? Also, what are we doing for New Year’s Eve?” He smiles, then sobers as he gets a look at my face. He sweeps the hair out of my face. “Julia?”
I pour the entire story out in a rush, from the party to Parker showing up, to the police station.
“That was very brave,” he says softly. “Reporting him is a way to bring light to sexual assault on campus. Or anywhere.”
I nod. “He’ll just keep doing it to other girls. I don’t want that.”
“And Eric? Have you heard from him since that night?”
I worry my lip between my teeth. “He finally texted the night of the party.” But only because the valet had gone inside to tell them what happened between me and Parker.
“And?”
“I told him I needed space.” I pluck at the quilt on my bed as I recall our brief texts. He wanted to call me, but I didn’t want to talk. It felt too fresh. And I was still reeling with the police stuff—which I didn’t mention. “I mean, obviously, he needs time. He ditched me for his dad.” My throat prickles.
“Sweetheart . . .”
“I don’t mean to sound petty. It’s not just about him not rushing after me at the party. I get that his father has a hold on him. I get that he wants to make his parents happy. The thing is, he never even told them I was coming. I need to forget about him and focus on my mom and me.” My voice hitches.
Maybe I should have waited inside for him. I don’t know.
Maybe he should have chased after me. I don’t know.
What is true, is that we need a breather.
He pats my hand. “You love him?”
“Unfortunately.”
“Bollocks,” Taylor says as he hugs me.
He urges me up and we go downstairs.
I smile wanly. “When is Poppy coming in?”
“Sometime today.”
I fix him a hot tea, hand it to him, then make mine. I sit at the table and swish in the creamer.
The doorbell rings. “Julia?” Eric calls from the porch.
I sit up straighter. “I don’t want to see him.” Because if I do, I might change my mind.
“Got it.” Taylor grabs a fork off the table, waggles his eyebrows, then marches into the den and opens the door.
I follow and listen from the hallway.
“Hello. Sorry, but Julia is indisposed,” Taylor says.
My heart clenches, and before I know it, I’m coming around the corner and stand next to Taylor.
“It’s fine. I’ve got this, Tay.”
“Sure?”
I nod.
“I’ll be in the kitchen,” he says as he points the fork at Eric, then sashays away.
I take him in. He’s wearing jeans that cling to his thighs and a pale blue cable-knit sweater. Boots are on his feet. He drags a hand through his hair. “Hey. How are you?”
“Fine.”
He licks his lips. “I, um, wanted to say that I’m sorry for not checking on you at the party. I thought you’d wait for me.” He clears his throat. “You alright?”
“You already asked that.” I stare at my hands and push the words out. “I went to the police and reported Parker for the incident at the Kappa house.” My gaze darts to him. “I-I listed you as a witness. They’ll be contacting you. Sorry.”
He looks shocked, then recovers. “Sure, yeah, anything I can do. Don’t be sorry. He deserves it. I’ll back you a thousand percent.” A huff comes from him. “Dad already has the charges against me dropped.”
A long sigh comes from me. “I-I wish you’d tried to see me earlier since the party.” I may have said I needed space, but I really needed him to make the first move and try to see me.
“I just needed to think.” He pauses, and I feel him studying my face. “Julia. I need you to understand. There are expectations on me.”
“No, I understand. The expectation is you won’t bring me home to the parents.”
“That’s not it. My life, it’s important to them. My father—”
“Wants you to go to law school. Tell him no. Tell him you make your own decisions.”
“You’re important to me, Julia. They know that. I’ve told them. You and I are together.”
My eyes capture his. “We aren’t.”
His nose flares. “What I’m trying to say is that it wasn’t you. You didn’t even matter that night.”
The words knife straight into my heart. So that’s why he didn’t follow me. I don’t rate. “Which is it? Am I important, or do I not matter?”
He sighs. “Stop. That’s not what I meant. Look, there’s more—”
Be strong.
Be fierce.
I interrupt him with a hand. “Eric. Stop. You do your thing and I’ll do mine. Yeah?”