She pushed my face away, disgusted. “You’ve given him exactly what he wants. And what’s more, you’ve brought him into my home. The only creature I want here less than that vampire is my brother, and you’ve let him come in, all snuggled up inside you.”
“What’s she talking about?” Holden asked.
“Did you think she was suddenly gifted with magic, young vampire?” Calliope rolled her eyes. “Why didn’t you question it when she was able to cheat death and had the power to burn her way through a flock of the dead? Didn’t that strike you as strange?”
“Goddammit,” Sig snarled. He’d figured it out. “You’ve made a deal with the devil himself, Secret. Why?”
I stepped away from the lot of them, angry with them for making me the bad guy when I’d done it all to save them. If they thought this had been an easy choice for me, they were kidding themselves. “Stop. All of you need to stop yelling at me, because it’s not going to change anything. Aubrey gave me his power, and I took it. I didn’t see any other way.”
“Dying would have been preferable,” Sig said.
“Don’t worry, Sigvard,” Calliope added coldly. “She intends to.”
So much for keeping my exit strategy a secret until the end. I glanced at Holden. This wasn’t how I’d pictured telling him, but maybe it was good that he was finding out now.
“What is she talking about?” he asked, his voice no longer calm. “This is insane. We came here to ask a question, and now you’re talking about deals with the devil and Secret dying?”
“I warned you about him,” Calliope went on, ignoring Holden’s outburst. “I told you to be careful, and you did just the opposite. How could you be so stupid?”
“Don’t call me stupid,” I snapped. “I did what I had to do. I knew what he was asking, and I’d do it again. So stop. You might not care what happens out there, but I do. And he offered me a way to protect my friends and my home. Why should I feel bad about that?”
“Because you were worth more. You had value beyond this place and these people. And now he’s stolen your future.” Calliope dropped her arms to her sides, and now instead of looking angry, she just seemed sad.
“I would have stayed and fought anyway. I probably would have died. And don’t get haughty with me about it, because you know I would have.” Their anger was frustrating me. I hadn’t expected them to throw a party when they found out what I’d done, but for some reason I hadn’t imagined they’d all be so mad at me.
She frowned.
I plowed ahead. “So tell me. You, who has seen the end. Is it any different now? Will I still die standing by someone I love?” My voice trembled, but I caught myself before dissolving into tears. “That’s what you said to me, do you remember?”
“You are so very loved, Secret. By those in this room, and those waiting outside. There was never a scenario where you wouldn’t be next to someone who loved you in the end.” She crossed the room and stood in front of me, picking up my hands and turning the palms face up. The difference in my two lifelines—one long and one short—seemed more apparent to me now than it ever had before. “But you’ve finally made your choice. I suppose I can’t be mad at you for that.”
Calliope kissed the palm with the shorter lifeline before curling both my hands into fists.
“I did what I had to do,” I said again, the excuse sounding flimsier every time I used it.
“The moment a mortal life begins it is destined to end. I have known you would die as soon as you stepped into my life. But I admit I am not ready.”
“You and me both.” I tried, and failed, to smile.
“You’ve lived bravely, my dear. Foolishly, but with strength and honor. I have never counted myself so privileged to know a mortal being.” She touched my cheek, more gently this time. “But you are a stupid, stubborn girl for thinking Aubrey’s way was the only way.”
“I already owed him. And a promise is a promise. You know how these things work.”
“A promise to die is a foolish promise indeed.” She s
ighed. “Show me this sword he is hell-bent on possessing.”
I didn’t bother to ask how she knew the sword was part of Aubrey’s bargain. If she knew I intended to die, she must already have a great deal of insight into what I had planned. Withdrawing the katana from the sling on my back, I held it out to her, and she took it tentatively.
“There is a lot of death on this blade.”
“Well, yeah.”
“But this sword is very special, do you know that?”
She wasn’t the first person to tell me so. A great number of fae had made a lot of fuss over the blade in the years I’d had it, and it had performed a few tricks I didn’t think a basic sword was capable of. No mere katana could unlock a demon from its human vessel. A simple sword could not do the things this one had.
“I know.”