I bit down on his shoulder to stifle my scream, letting out a muffled gasp instead as I clawed his back and my vision went hazy. A moment later he shuddered and went still, and we stayed locked together, panting and dazed, until he finally withdrew and we sank back into the comforter.
“I’m a lucky man,” he breathed out, then chuckled.
I rolled onto my side, propping my head up on my hand, and smiled at him. Even in the darkness of the room I could make out his face, and no one had ever looked so perfect to me before. This man was my man. This was the guy I was going to spend my life with. The thought didn’t fill me with dread or nerves the way it had when I agreed to marry Lucas. Choosing Desmond was easy, because it was right. He was the one. The One, like they talked about in fairy tales or bad romantic comedies.
“I think we both know I’m the lucky one.”
Chapter Fifteen
When night fell, the city was still burning.
I stood in Lucas’s huge living room, its floor-to-ceiling windows giving me an epic panorama of the devastation. In the past I’d seen clips on CNN on location in distant countries that showed the kind of damage I was seeing. It was as though the streets of New York were now a war zone. But no one here was fighting for human rights or struggling against oppression.
This was the living fighting the dead, and what for?
What did the Hands of Death want so badly they’d be willing to level an entire city to get it?
The one person I’d known who might have an idea was now dead, and thinking about Keaty made everything below seem all the more impossible. How could a great man have been brought down by this? It still didn’t make sense. Part of me thought I would go to the kitchen and find him sitting with O’Brian and Cedes, swapping stories and advice.
“Are you hiding?” Lucas stood next to me, surveying the mess.
“From up here it’s so much worse. I thought distance was supposed to make things look better.”
“I’m not sure if that works in the case of a burning landscape.” He sighed and turned his back to the window, unable to continue staring at the destruction. “You honestly think you can fix this? I think it might be beyond even your capable hands.”
I kept my focus on the window, not wanting to see his doubt. The uncertainty of others was a powerful thing when it came to crushing your own belief.
“If I don’t try, who else will?”
“Maybe we should leave. We can still get everyone here to safety before the military decides to move in.”
“And what about the millions of people trapped in their homes? Or in the subways? People who are waiting to be rescued? If I don’t try to stop this, they’re going to become casualties.”
“You don’t owe them anything, Secret. You have people here, people you love. Shouldn’t they be your priority?”
I shook my head and watched as a plume of smoke belched up into the sky and a building collapsed beneath it. A pockmark on the skyline. How many more would fall tonight?
“I’m not stopping anyone from leaving. But I’m not going to let millions of people die because I’m too scared to fight.” My fists were clenched at my sides, and I fought back the tears threatening to consume me. “I’ve lost people I love. But are my loved ones more important than anyone else’s?” I turned to face him and finally met his gaze. “You put the pack above everything. Your responsibility is to protect them at all costs. Right?”
“Of course.”
“New York is my pack.”
“Secret…”
“No. Don’t try to tell me I’m being irrational. I know what that tone of yours means. I also know these pricks are mortal, and they bleed. And since they seem determined to stand their ground, it’s my job to show them they picked the wrong goddamn city to mess with. Okay?”
He stared at me like I was a stranger to him, then he touched my cheek, cupping my face in his hand. “I’ve spent a lot of time wondering why you were the one. Why you were destined to be queen. It didn’t make a lot of sense to me, but now… Now I get it.”
“I’m not…”
“I know you don’t want to be queen. Not my queen. But you are one. You are a born leader. You need to stop pretending you’re a lone wolf stuck with the role. Whether it’s the wolves or the vampires, you are meant to rule. And I never should have underestimated you.”
Damn.
“Stop saying nice things to me. It makes it hard to remember why I hate you so much.”
“You don’t hate me.” He smiled, and though it was tight, it warmed his blue eyes and made him look younger and less afraid.