I felt only the aching black pit of loss.
And from deep within that pit, my anger came at me anew, burning brighter than any fury I had ever known.
I set Keaty’s head gently on the sidewalk, and my hands trembled with the effort to restrain myself. Though I did not shake on the outside, great tremors rumbled through me, threatening to rattle me apart from the inside out.
Desmond, hands red with Keaty’s blood, got to his feet and came to me. He appeared uneasy about the prospect of hugging me or offering me physical comfort. It had been quite some time since I was able to enjoy anyone’s touch, but I stepped into his arms, and he wrapped me up in a tight hug.
His natural scent was tainted by the overwhelming copper tang of blood.
“I’m going to do something stupid now,” I whispered into his chest, balling my fingers in the soft material of his shirt.
If I could have stayed with him for the rest of the night and let out my misery in a natural, healthy way, I would have done it. But my anger wouldn’t allow it.
“What? Secret, no.” He’d known me long enough to understand that when I said stupid, I didn’t mean foolish. I meant suicidal.
“This is a very touching moment and all,” Jock crowed. “But I believe it’s time to make the dead piggy dance.”
Genie and Desmond had both claimed Jock didn’t smell of magic. I, too, had believed he was merely a pawn in the necromancers’ game. But death magic must be something unto itself, because Jock was clearly in command here, and he was threatening to raise Keaty back from the dead.
Back from the dead.
I gave a shudder, because part of me wanted to let him. I wanted Keaty to come back and be himself again, even if it was a dead version of the man I’d known. But I knew, deep down, the risen version of Keaty wouldn’t really be him.
I ached to reclaim what I’d lost. Not since Brigit had someone I loved so dearly been stolen away in such a vicious manner. Holden’s vampire brother, Maxime, had been tortured to death and his mutilated body displayed in front of me, but I had only known him a few days. I’d liked him, but we hadn’t been close. Keaty had raised me. He’d taken me in as a sixteen-year-old girl who was too big for her britches, and he’d saved me. Without Keaty, it would be me lying dead in the street.
When it had mattered most, I hadn’t been able to save him.
Jock stepped forward, and his men moved back, lowering their weapons. Jock lifted his hands to the sky and closed his eyes. He muttered, “Veniat mihi manes. Invoco te in mundo vivit. Audite vocem meam.”
The temperature around us dropped ten degrees, bringing our breath out in filmy white clouds like smoke. Jock’s men shifted and swayed, as if they too were compelled by his power. And perhaps they were. Maybe he was so good he could command an army of undead soldiers. He had, after all, helped raise the dead of an entire city.
White, electric light sparked over his skin and danced its way up to his fingers, and the expression on his face changed from concentration to euphoria. Whatever he was doing, he was enjoying it.
Lightning sparked, and whether it arced down from the clouds or up from Jock, I couldn’t tell, but for a moment the block around us was as bright as day. My determination faltered.
This fucker had real power.
I was strong, physically. And I had titular power in the vampire world. But nothing like this.
Keaty twitched, and I felt as though I’d been punched in the stomach a thousand times. When he sat bolt upright and opened his eyes, Desmond’s arms tightened around me protectively, pulling me away from my former mentor.
Where in life Keaty’s eyes had been vibrant and full of scorn at all times, now they were clouded over and unaware.
“Youuuu,” he breathed out in a raspy rattle.
I thought he was calling out, until I realized it was the last word he never got to say to me. I love you.
It had still been on his lips even in death.
If the air around us was cold, I now felt ten times colder.
I withdrew my gun from its holster, and without a pause for thought I raised it and fired.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
I kept going until I heard click, then continued trying to fire until Desmond stopped me, grasping my wrist and lowering my hand to my side.
When I came back to myself after the red haze faded, I saw what I’d done.