“There’s a library?” I asked. In all my visits to her m
ansion I never totally grasped how big it was because it wasn’t the same from one trip to the next.
“There is this time.”
“Thanks.” Holden nodded, and as the three of us entered the long hallway, he turned right as Calliope and I went left. Several of the doors we passed were open, and from one to the next it could be daylight, twilight or night. The light changed in each space, and it never looked artificial or wrong.
Outside on her patio the night sky was alight with stars, and the impression of hundreds of galaxies was painted across the blackness, as though it were projected directly from the Hubble telescope. My breath caught in my throat.
“Wow.”
“Sometimes it is nice to be reminded we can be awed.” She sat on a large couch and patted the cushion beside her. I didn’t think twice about taking the seat.
“I guess I need to—”
“An apology would be hollow. You don’t forgive me for letting the young vampire die. I understand. You are allowed to stay angry.”
Huh. Well, she’d sort of sucked the wind out of my bitterness sails. It was hard to get any enjoyment out of being mad at someone once they said it was okay.
“Okay.”
“Sig has told you everything.” Her perfect posture made me feel silly for curling up in the seat, but the couch was just so soft and squishy it was impossible to resist. I could have fallen asleep there and not woken up for days. Something told me if anyone could keep my nightmares at bay, it would be Cal.
“How much of it did you know?” I asked. She’d sometimes been a bit cagey when it came to the Sig situation. She hated him because he’d broken her heart. But I also knew she hid things from me when it came to him.
“I have always known everything.”
“You knew he could manipulate me?”
A sly smile crossed her lips. “Haven’t you figured out by now that anyone can manipulate you if you let them?” She reached out and took my hand, stroking the lifeline on my palm. “And what of choices, Secret? Tell me if you’ve thought about your life these past months.”
“Of course I have.”
“Have you drawn any conclusions? Did your foray into the sunlit world of the truly living inspire you? Or are you so enamored of the bite from your vampire lover you would choose his path instead?”
I could have. I could have been either, to be full vampire or full werewolf. Instead I’d chosen to return to what I was. “I did make a choice, didn’t I?”
“Does it count as a choice to make no choice at all? Instead of moving forward, you moved along a set line, staying precisely as you were.”
I pulled my hand away and placed it in my lap, staring up at the stars to avoid facing her.
“What path is the right one? I don’t… Cal, I don’t want to die. But I can’t live like this anymore.” I held my hands up so the purple-orange hue cast by the orbiting supernovas above made them glow slightly. “Is there a right path?”
“Whatever path you choose is the right path.”
Of course. Why shouldn’t I expect more cryptic bullshit? She had spoken in riddles the whole time we’d known each other. Why should I expect anything to change now?
“I’m going to have to give one of them up, won’t I?”
“One of the paths? Of course.”
“I meant Holden and Desmond.”
“Not your wolf king?”
“Lucas? Christ, no.”
“Ah, so we are here now. Arrived at last on the second love triangle.”