My palms broke into a cold sweat, and I wiped them on my jeans. “It crossed my mind.” Actually, Holden had once outright asked me whether or not I’d let Sig feed from me, because he wanted to know how the Tribunal leader was able to hunt me down so easily.
“Holden, tell Secret what would happen if Rebecca were to give you a direct order.”
Holden ground his teeth. “I would be required to obey.”
“But you could resist, if you tried, yes?”
“If I tried very hard.”
Sig nodded. “The bond might seem strongest at that point, but in truth, the older the blood, the stronger it is. If Rebecca’s sire’s sire were to command Mr. Chancery to jump off a bridge, for example, he would do it. This is part of the reason we don’t like to keep offspring near their bloodlines. Sometimes jealousy or boredom can lead to tragic consequences.”
“You’re saying…” I let my words drift.
“Finish your thought.” The way he spoke dug into my flesh like a physical thing. It was as though the words clamped down on my throat with teeth of their own and refused to let go. In that moment I realized every order, every job, everything Sig had asked me to do before now had been nothing more than a polite suggestion. I had thought he’d issued commands, but there was a difference between saying something commandingly and saying it with real intent.
I knew. I knew now he’d been holding back.
“Finish your thought,” he repeated, and the teeth of his words sank deeper.
“You’re saying I have to obey your commands. You’re saying I would be totally unable to say no if you commanded me to do something.” As soon as I’d finished my thought, the phantom pain vanished. I hadn’t even resisted. I was terrified to imagine how his power would compel me if I tried to fight.
I wouldn’t be able to.
My whole body went cold, and I struggled to feel my fingers as I wrapped them around Holden’s hand. I squeezed so hard it had to hurt him, but he didn’t pull away.
“This entire time you could have made me do anything.”
“Yes.”
“And you knew I’d be powerless.”
“Yes.”
“But you didn’t.”
“Stand up.” Again, I could feel the command in his words, and I was on my feet before I had time to think about it. “Kneel before me.” I didn’t like this. Not one bit. But in spite of my internal misgivings, my legs yielded, bringing me to the carpet in front of him.
“You understand now that if I wanted something from you, I could have had it, don’t you?”
“Y-yes.”
“And you also understand, had there come a time I thought all our lives would be better suited by your death, I could have easily managed that as well. Pick up your gun.”
My hand burned, and no part of me fought as I picked up the weapon.
“Go ahead, put it against your temple, dear.”
The cool metal pressed against my skin.
“That’s enough, Sig.” Holden had inched forward in his seat, and I could tell he was struggling not to interfere. It wasn’t any kind of vampire magic keeping him from stepping in, but he must have known it would be stupid to go against the Tribunal leader.
“Do you understand I’ve had your life in the palm of my hand this entire time, but I let you have it? I gave you total control, when I could have said pull the trigger at any time.”
I let out a whimper, a tear escaping my eye and running down my cheek. But this time there was no demand. It was just empty words.
“You wanted to know,” he reminded me. “What am I to you? I am your Master. And I gave you free will.” He took the gun from my hand, and the second it was gone I began to shake violently. “So don’t you dare ever accuse me of being selfish when I keep things from you.”
Chapter Twenty-Four