He brushed a strand of hair off my cheek and cupped my chin, angling my face upwards so I was looking at him.
“Just fine?”
My pulse tripped slightly, and I let myself lean into his touch, my hand covering his on my face. “As fine as I can given the environment. ”
“Still beats being thrown in a pit,” he reminded me, alluding to our experience of being trapped by swamp werewolves.
“Most things beat that. ”
Holden dropped his hand from my face, then kissed my forehead. This time his lips lingered longer than they had during the dance, and when he pulled away, we stared at each other for a long, breathless moment.
“Sit down,” he told me, nodding towards the bed. His tone was suddenly very serious.
“Why?”
He gave me an arch look, and I knew arguing would be pointless. Besides, it was just a bed. Sitting on a bed didn’t mean I was automatically agreeing to anything. He only wanted to talk.
Who was I kidding?
“How’s your arm?” I asked, pointing to the bloodied shirtsleeve covering the place where Desmond had bitten him. It was an obvious attempt to distract him, though I wasn’t sure why I was trying to.
“It’s healed. ”
“Let me look. ”
Hesitantly I sat on the bed, and he stood in front of me. I lifted his arm with my hands cupped under his elbow, rolling up his soiled shirt. The sticky residue of old blood made my fingers gluey, m
aking them stick to the cotton fabric as I turned up the material. When the crook of his arm was mere inches from my lips, I shifted my gaze from the still-damp blood and back up to his eyes. His pupils had widened, turning his irises a dark, fierce black. The hunger that twisted his features had nothing to do with a need for feeding. I recognized the look, and it was pure sex.
I stared at Holden, his bloody arm right under my mouth, and I voiced a question both my rational and monstrous selves wanted the answer to. “What are we doing?”
“Whatever we want. It’s just you and me right now. Whatever we do is up to us. ”
My internal debate was between the consequences of our actions and rewards. Which was greater? I had wanted to sleep with Holden for so long I’d lost track, and our chemistry was undeniable. First I’d been afraid I only wanted to sleep with him because of Aubrey’s spell, but now all I felt was him and the unique hot feeling that made me want to rip his clothes off. That wasn’t magic. That was just Holden.
Why was I thinking so much about this?
Having lived a life of consequences, both good and bad, I decided it was time to do what I wanted. Damn what the fairy king thought he knew about me, damn the guilt of the human world and the people who said I shouldn’t. I didn’t owe anyone anything.
But maybe I owed Holden and me this night.
Chapter Thirty-One
“Are you sure?” Holden asked as I stood, and my hands went to the buttons on his shirt. “I mean really really sure?” His eyes were dark, and I knew there was a fine line of self-restraint holding him back. One nudge was all it would take, and I wanted to give him that nudge.
I thought about it, though, as much as I was able to think in our current situation.
“I want to do this,” I replied, unbuttoning his shirt fully and pushing it off his shoulders.
He stared at me long and hard, and I met his gaze steadily, without batting an eyelash. “I won’t be able to stop once we start,” he said.
“I know. ”
Without waiting for him to make a move on my own clothing, I pulled my sweater off and threw it next to his shirt on the bed.
For a man who had already seen me topless, the look on his face when he saw me in my bra was more appreciative than I’d expected. He touched each of my bare shoulders with his large, smooth hands, his skin soft and almost cold, but not quite. I shivered, but it was more from excitement than the unexpected coolness of his touch.
He caught the belt loops of my pants with lightning-fast fingers and tugged me towards him so I was standing and my stomach was flush with his. My skin felt surprisingly warm against his. I thought he might say something when his lips parted slightly, and opened my mouth to protest, but he took that opportunity to kiss me.