“Jesus Christ, Holden! What happened out there?” I tried to push by him to get at the door, wondering if this was a case of if you think I look bad, you should see the other guy, but Holden blocked me from getting there.
“I can’t let you go out there. ”
I stared at him, taking in the paler-than-usual coloring of his complexion, and in my coldest, most serious voice, asked, “What did you do to him?”
At first he didn’t seem to understand the question. Then, when it dawned on him what the implications of my thinking were, his befuddlement faded into a frown. He raised his bloody arm and held it in front of my face. “What did I do to him?” he mocked. “You have got to be kidding me. ”
I tried to bypass him again, but he wasn’t in the mood for games anymore. He pushed me away and cracked the door a fraction of an inch. “Why don’t you have a look? See what I did to your precious mutt. ”
Ducking under his arm, I angled myself so I could see through the small opening he’d created. The foyer was dark, and nothing appeared to be moving, but as I leaned closer a flash of white teeth came at me. I fell back as Desmond hurled himself at the open space, snapping and growling, spit flying from his mouth. The area around his muzzle was damp with drool and blood.
Holden forced the door closed once again and stared down to where I’d fallen on my ass. My heart was hammering so loudly Desmond could probab
ly hear it on the other side of the door.
To add insult to injury, that was twice in less than an hour I’d been knocked flat on my rump by something taking me by surprise. Either I was losing my edge, or things here were way more fucked up than they tended to be in the real world. I was hoping for option B, because I was too young to lose my edge.
“I don’t understand,” I said. “I’ve never seen him act that way. ”
Thinking back to my first encounter with Desmond in his wolf form, I’d ended up in a pretty similar position—knocked on the floor in surprise. But in that case it had been the shock of seeing a giant fucking wolf sitting outside my front door. His actual behavior at the time had been gentle, slow and nonthreatening. Even as a wolf he’d made it clear to me who he was and that he meant me no harm.
Now he was throwing his whole weight against the door—making me hope the fae were adept carpenters—and there was nothing gentle about him at all. I’d never imagined this violent, hateful version of Desmond. I’d seen the man punch a hole right through drywall in a fit of rage, but he hadn’t made me fear for my own safety.
The entire time I’d known Desmond I would have sworn on my life and everything I held important in the world he would never hurt me. Not in a million years would he lay a hand on me or put my well-being at risk.
But two seconds ago he’d jumped at me like my blood was the only thing he wanted.
And it was one of the scariest fucking things I’d experienced in recent memory.
“It’s not him,” Holden said.
“It is him. It’s not like you can pretend another wolf came in after I stepped out and traded places with him. That’s Desmond. ” My voice was shaking, making me sound too much like a trembling little girl for my tastes.
Holden offered me a hand up and I took it, trying to keep some of my dignity intact as I climbed to my feet. My hand didn’t tremble at all when I took his, point for me.
“That’s not what I meant. It is Desmond, physically. But he’s not in control of himself. ”
“Obviously. ”
Perhaps he heard the hysteria creeping into my voice, because he stepped closer and placed a hand on each of my shoulders, giving me a supportive squeeze. The look in his eyes wasn’t as patient, though, and plainly said, Pull yourself together, woman.
“Think about what Calliope has told you a thousand times. About why werewolves and other shifters can’t come through her gate. It’s obviously not impossible, since you’ve proven that by bringing Desmond across. But think about what she said the reason was. ”
“I don’t remember,” I replied.
“Bullshit, you don’t remember. ” This time when he squeezed, it wasn’t friendly at all, it was downright painful. “Remember what she said. ”
I did remember. Of course I remembered. It’s hard to plead ignorance to a rule when you’re the only known exception to it. “Shifters aren’t allowed because time doesn’t function the same way. The moon can be full even when it seems to be the middle of the day. ”
“And why is that dangerous?”
“Because a shifter who changes when they aren’t prepared can’t be controlled. ”
“Right. They aren’t responsible for their actions,” he said, quoting Calliope directly. When she’d said it to me in the past, it hadn’t sounded like a free pass for bad wolf behavior, but if she was right, it might explain why Desmond was acting like a lunatic. He hadn’t wanted to change, but the pull of the moon here was too much for him, especially when we’d been on the verge of our own full moon back home.
So when he’d changed, whatever governed his self-control must have slipped. Now the wolf was driving, and apparently Desmond’s wolf could be kind of a dick.
It would get along great with my bitch. This proved we were soul mates after all.