“Is that a Mapplethorpe?” I asked, pointing to the huge print.
“Secret, Robert Mapplethorpe didn’t kidnap Lucy. He died in 1989.” He forcefully turned my face back to him. “Why do you think Mayhew has her?”
“I went to see him again last night.”
Holden’s fingers gripped my chin so hard it hurt. “Why would you go back alone if you thought he was guilty of something?”
“I thought he was human.”
“He isn’t?”
“Not unless a human can strike me immobile without any force. No human can do what he did.”
The vampire released my face and took my hand up again, holding it between his two lukewarm palms. “Did he…hurt you?”
Deep black pools overwhelmed the chocolate brown of Holden’s eyes until all that was left were bottomless pits of darkness. He was beyond mad.
“He stole my memories. Years of my life vanished. But, no, I don’t think he did anything to me physically. Except kiss me.”
Holden growled, and suddenly he was back across the room, facing the window.
“You can’t put yourself at risk like that.”
Anger bubbled inside me, but I bit my tongue against the tide of curses that wanted to spew out of my mouth. I was being indignant. He was right, after all. My life wasn’t my own anymore. I had responsibilities to Lucas’s pack, and more importantly I was at the head of one of the biggest vampire organizations in the world.
This was why Sig didn’t want me running around in the streets with Shane, putting myself in harm’s way.
Only now was I fully aware of how selfish I had been. I might have pretended I was doing it to save Lucy or find out the truth about who killed Trish and the others, but the honest fact was I wanted to be on the hunt again. Just like I’d wanted to be out for the kill last night when I’d chased the vampire with Shane. It wasn’t the hunter I wanted to help. I’d wanted the hunt itself.
I let out my breath in a huff. “That’s why I need you now.”
With his arms braced against the wooden frame of the window I was afraid he might crack the glass. He was rigid with tension, his whole body vibrating with unspent energy.
“You need to swear to me you won’t do this ever again.”
“I don’t owe you any promises, Holden.”
He turned, and his expression was all it took to knock me back a few steps. For all the bravado and posturing, the mood swings and the flirting, I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen him look the way he did right now. His features were drawn and tight as though he were racked with pain. The man had seen me nearly beaten to death, but he’d never once looked at me with such concern.
“Don’t be stubborn.”
“Why, will you try duping me into sleeping with you if I don’t agree?” I was trying to lighten the mood, but he didn’t so much as crack a smile.
After a tense pause, he shook his head. “I already did that.”
I gave him a weak grin. “So, quit your bitching. You going to help me or not?”
“What do you need?”
“I need someone to carry my gun. Someone to back me up when I go snooping around Mayhew’s office tonight.”
“You’re awfully dressed up for a break-and-enter.”
“That’s the other thing.”
He arched a brow.
“I need you to not say a single goddamn word to Lucas tonight.”