I had no idea what she meant, but I didn’t like the sound of it. She opened a small fridge hidden inside the nightstand and threw a bag of blood to me.
Then she continued. “Your whole mind is focused on the need to consume. It’s drowning out your spirit. ” She cocked her head to the side and watched me as I bit open the bag and began to feed. “Your future is lost. ”
I choked on the blood. “Lost how?”
“There is much I need to tell you, especially about your warden. But your path is no longer clear. Without your spirit intact, I know nothing. I can’t see what your future holds. ”
She stood up and touched my hair, shaking her head sadly, then turned and left the room.
She didn’t come back.
I exited the Starbucks an hour later, my cheeks rosy and a conspicuous Styrofoam container clutched in my hands. Having eaten, I no longer felt the need to kill every human in a twenty-foot radius. The contents of the container meant I wouldn’t need to worry about getting that bad for another week.
I was nearly home, which was only a three-block walk from the Starbucks, when my phone rang. It had been awhile since I’d been on the receiving end of a call, and the sound of Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin’” coming from my jacket pocket startled me. I fumbled for my phone, precariously balancing the cooler on my hip as I flipped the cell open to talk.
“Hello?”
“Can we talk?” It was Lucas.
Now that I was in front of my building, I paused and said nothing.
“Secret?” I could tell by his tone he was trying to be patient, but I knew I sometimes made this difficult. I wedged the phone between my shoulder and ear, listening to him breathe while I tried to find my keys. I wished he were breathing next to me.
“What is there to say?” I asked, unlocking my entrance door and stepping into the small landing. I leaned against the wall, not ready to be alone in my apartment with his voice in my ear.
“I don’t regret what I did to bring you home, and I won’t apologize for doing it. ”
Well, we were off to a good start. My sharp intake of breath must have let him know I wasn’t pleased with his statement.
“Goodbye, Lucas. ” I wasn’t actually prepared to hang up yet; I just wanted him to know I wasn’t impressed. He took advantage of the pause that followed my false farewell.
“Listen to me. ” His tone was even, but it was an order. I didn’t want to yield to his power as king, but I was half wolf, and that part of me found it impossible not to listen. “I am sorry you were hurt, and I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you what the vampire had planned, but that’s because I didn’t know. And I couldn’t tell you anything, because you didn’t tell me a damn thing about where you’d gone. ”
“Okay. ”
“Okay, what?”
“Okay, I should have told you where I was going. ”
“You never should have left in the first place. ”
I sighed angrily and kicked my front door. Not enough to damage it, because I was sure I didn’t have enough in my bank account to pay for a new one. “You don’t get to decide that, Lucas. ”
“You didn’t give me an opportunity to talk you out of it. ”
“You couldn’t have. ”
“Could Desmond have done it?”
And there it was. The two of them could pretend all they wanted that they were okay with sharing me, but I’d known it bothered Lucas more than he had let on, and now he had all but admitted I was right. It must have cut deep that even though he was the king, it was his second-in-command who had gotten me into bed first. And second. And third.
“No,” I answered truthfully.
Another long pause.
“I left because of what happened. I left because I was worried you and Desmond would never be able to look at me the same after you found out what I was. I mean, I drank your blood, Lucas. Isn’t that sort of a relationship deal breaker?”
“Goddammit, Secret. This isn’t time to be glib. ”