She’d hardly stopped smiling during our first meeting a week ago. Today she looked as if someone had just kicked her grandfather in the nuts.
Maybe her best friend died, I tried to reassure myself. Maybe it’s not about Gretchen at all.
But as Tisha opened our file and winced at what she saw, I knew that was a futile hope.
“Gretchen’s father’s name is Derek Conway,” she said. “Lives in Sargasso. His first step is establishing paternity, and then he needs to contest the adoption. No genetic testing done as of yet, but he’s shown photo evidence that he was romantically linked with your sister at the time of conception. Considering he has no other reason to claim the fatherhood, I don’t think there’s much doubt about that.”
I nodded, trying to act like the thought of my kid sister conceiving the baby I was holding didn’t make me cringe. At my side, Jaz bobbed her head along with me.
“So what do we know about Mr. Conway?” she asked. “Other than that he’s a sleazy-ass douchebag and a mild homophobe.”
“That’s the thing,” Tisha said. “I’m sorry to tell you this, but Conway appears to be an upstanding pillar of the community.”
Jaz groaned, and I dropped my gaze to my lap. Shit.
“What’s so great about him?” Jaz asked.
“He’s a Conway… of the Winchester Conways,” Tisha said.
“The so-called high society family that’s dripping with old money?”
“That’s the one.” Tisha didn’t have to explain any further. I already knew the clan was made up of governors, diplomats, and various other eminent professions. “Never married, no children. An investment banker, makes an excellent living. Homeowner, taxpayer. Does charity work in his spare time.”
“He sounds… stable.” I massaged my temples. It didn’t take a genius to figure out a wealthy banker with a fancy home would look better to a judge than a couple of impoverished academics.
Jaz sounded as discouraged as me. “Isn’t there any good news?”
“Uh… not particularly. According to Conway, he’s always wanted to be a father, and he’s willing to battle you two in court for as long as necessary.”
My throat clenched up, only easing up a little when Jaz’s hand slipped into mine. “There’s two of us and one of him,” she said. “Doesn’t that matter at all? Wouldn’t the judge prefer Gretchen grow up in a two-parent home?”
“Theoretically, but I doubt they’ll see it like that.” Tisha looked even more sympathetic now. “Maybe if both of you were to adopt her, but as it stands, only Faye is on the paperwork.”
“I’ll do it.”
I sat stick-straight, staring at Jaz. “No. I can’t ask you to do that.”
She set her hands on the desk. “What if I want to?” Her voice cracked slightly. “What if I’ve been wanting to for a while?”
Tisha looked from me to her. “You two will have to resolve this together. It won’t be a magic bullet to keep Gretchen, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“I don’t care.” Jaz held her head higher now, as if a weight had finally come off her shoulders. “I want to do it anyway.”
* * *
It would’ve been utterly selfish of me to let Jaz adopt Gretchen with me.
She was young. She had her whole life ahead of her. She had no need to tie herself down to some older woman and her niece.
But as we got into bed that night and Jaz curled her back into me, saying “I really want to do this, you know…”
Heaven help me, the idea wouldn’t let me go.
I lay there for hours, debating possible outcomes, envisioning potential futures. I knew Jaz loved Gretchen. More importantly, we loved each other. And now that the image had come to me, I wanted nothing more than to sign those papers with her, put a ring on her finger, make an honest-to-goodness family together.
But then there were the other possibilities I pictured. Jaz single, finishing her masters in record time without me and Gretchen dragging her down. Jaz completing her Ph.D. because she didn’t have to run out and get a job to feed a child who wasn’t hers. Jaz finding a great job, putting in a few years, and getting tenure right on schedule.
Jaz heartbroken at first… then meeting other girls. Dating around. Maybe nothing would come of it at first, but she’d keep at it. She had so much love to give, she wouldn’t be alone for long.