“And you’ll tell them I might not make it to open mic night tonight? Keep them from harassing me like last time?”
Farrah toyed with the end of Gretchen’s soother. “Or you could just come.”
“But I have other things on my mind.”
“I don’t see how any of what you said would keep you from making it to open mic night.” Passing Gretchen back to me, she grabbed her backpack and began to stand up. “And I’m not just saying that because Andrew and Sven go into full bro mode when you’re not there. You need to get out and do fun stuff… not just work two jobs and write a thesis.”
“I do fun stuff.” Even if the last fun thing I’d done was story hour with Gretchen.
“If you say so.” Farrah slung her backpack over her shoulder. “Think about coming, all right? Don’t let the baby and the professor crush turn into your whole life.”
I slumped into the couch, covering my face. The professor crush. “Say that a little louder…”
* * *
When I brought Gretchen back at the end of the day, Faye was slouched over her desk, fast asleep.
I coughed a few times to wake her up—first softly, then louder. She stayed there, unmoving. She’d balled her tweed jacket up for a pillow. With her arms supporting her head, her shoulders stretched out the fabric of her silky blue blouse.
I took a few steps closer. Part of me wanted to go away longer and let her get the sleep she clearly needed.
After our intimacy the other night, another part of me wanted to lift her head and cradle it in my arms. To stroke her forehead until the lines disappeared, maybe even bring a smile to the lips I’d finally kissed.
But that wasn’t a very casual thing to do.
Stop being a moron. You’re already getting more than you could’ve asked for. Are you really going to sulk because you’re not getting even more?
Sinking into the chair opposite her, I stared at the back of her head. I knew I was being unrealistic, but I did want more. Way more. Like, absolutely fucking everything type of more.
But for the moment, I had to settle for what she could give me… or else have nothing at all.
Her head turned to the side, and her eyes blearily fixed on me. “Jaz? What time is it?”
“Just past five,” I said. “You fell asleep.”
“Ugh… my office hours must’ve come and gone. I hope no students came by.” She stretched from side to side. “I’m so stiff.”
The devil on one shoulder told me to offer her a massage.
The angel said to give the baby back and go home.
“That sucks.” I gave the baby back, but didn’t go home. “She have you up last night?”
“Not really. I mean, no more than usual.” She gave me an exhausted smile. “I’ve just been stressing about this whole Amanda thing.”
“It’s weird that she won’t meet you any earlier. Leaves you to stew about it for a whole week.”
“Exactly,” she sighed. “But anyway… you busy?”
My heart skipped a beat. “Now?”
“Or whenever.” She yawned… adorably. “Probably should be another night if I’m this tired, but… I do want to pick up where we left off.”
Now my heart pounded. Throbbed, actually. And I could feel the pulsations vibrating directly to my core.
“Uh…”
“Sorry, it figures you’d have plans. I should’ve asked earlier. Never mind.” She stood with Gretchen and her bag.