I dropped into the driver’s seat of my car, my palms suddenly clammy. Jaz hadn’t rejected me, but I still had new doubts that this was a good idea.
My hands shook slightly as I turned the steering wheel. What would people say if they knew about this? It may have been within the letter of the law—yes, I’d checked the university code of conduct—but what about the spirit of it? I could just imagine how the faculty would gossip if they caught wind of what Jaz and I were about to do.
On a more practical level, what exactly were we about to do? We hadn’t even kissed yet. What if there was no chemistry between us? What if, with those deep eyes and slender frame of hers, she realized she didn’t actually want to be with a myopic older woman who hadn’t seen the inside of a gym since the second Bush administration?
Stop it. We’d held hands once, and the sizzle of electricity that had occurred was a pretty damn good indicator of chemistry. If Jaz decided she didn’t want me, that was her own problem.
And if anyone heard about this… well… it was only casual sex. How would anyone ever hear about it?
I pulled into my driveway, my heart drumming unsteadily in my chest when I saw Jaz’s car was ahead of mine. I joined her on the doorstep and reached for her shoulder, but my nerves got the better of me and I pulled my hand back.
She rose onto her tiptoes and fell, doing a little dance to warm herself in the chilly air. “So…” she said.
“Yes, well.” I opened the door and let her in.
At the top of the stairs, once we got in my apartment, we stood stiffly and looked at each other. I was the older one here, the mature one, not to mention the one who’d initiated this whole thing. And yet I hadn’t the slightest idea of how to proceed.
Of all the professors who’d seduced their students in the history of mankind, had any of them ever been so damn awkward?
“Do you have drinks?” Jaz asked.
“Ah. Yes.” That could help.
I grabbed us each a beer out of the fridge, hoping liquid courage would do something to decrease my ineptitude. “Here you go.”
We each took a sip. I finished first and looked at Jaz. When she swallowed, she looked back at me. My face went hot and I took another swig. By the time that was done, she was sipping from hers again. This went on for far longer than it should’ve.
What was I supposed to do? What did people say in situations like this? I searched my mind for some trace of suaveness. Surely I had some capacity at getting the women I wanted into my bed. I’d had sex before. How had I managed it then?
Jaz finished her beer and set the bottle on the counter. “Come here,” she said.
And I went there, dumbfounded that it could just be that simple. Come here. Why hadn’t I thought of that?
She shoved her hands as far as they’d go into her pockets, but nudged me when I was in front of her. I nudged her back, and she grinned. Her teeth were straight except for one crooked one on the bottom, and somehow that tiny imperfection made me like her even more.
Instead of elbowing me again, she grabbed my shoulder and pulled me close. For a moment she kept me an inch away, staring into my eyes. The heat from her hand burned through my blouse, and more warmth radiated from her body. My pulse raced, spiking higher with every second. My lips tingled with the anticipation of kissing her. Why wasn’t she kissing me already?
“Why aren’t you kissing me already?”
Her hoarse voice took me by surprise, and I almost laughed at my own idiocy. “I can do that,” I murmured, and pulled her in.
My lips met her nose first. “Sorry,” I said, then overcorrected and pressed them to her chin instead.
My face went hot and I wondered if she’d just leave my place and tell stories forevermore of the professor who’d tried to seduce her but couldn’t even manage to get our lips to touch. As little as I wanted to go down in history as such, I would’ve actually been relieved if my humiliation could’ve ended then and there.
But instead of calling it a night, Jaz laughed and said, “Let’s try that again.”
The kiss was as fumbling and nervous as the last one, but at least our mouths connected. We stood motionless, only meshing our lips together. For my part, it was because I feared even the slightest other movement would somehow manage to ruin things.
But whatever the reason that we stayed there, as the kiss went on and on, my heartbeat began to come down from its previous red alert.
And as Jaz’s tongue flicked at the seam of my lips, the rest of my body began to realize what was happening.
Heat flowed between us, waves of it rolling off her body to mine and then back. Her breasts were inches from mine, her waist the same distance, the tips of her toes pressed lightly against mine.
A low groan came from the back of her throat and she leaned in closer, her feet parting so she could pull me between them, her entire body now pressed against the length of mine. Her tongue invaded my mouth and I let mine rise up to meet it. Even if we both tasted of the same beer, I wanted to drink every drop I could from her.
Eventually we drew apart, and I fought to breathe properly as I looked at Jaz. Her lips were even more tantalizing now that I’d sampled them. Slightly swollen from what I’d done to them, they called to me in a whole new way. Even her cheeks held new fascination now that I knew she’d let me caress them. In fact, I wanted to get my hands on them as soon as possible. And on every other part of her.