Jessica walked away, phone already pressed to her ear. Five minutes from now, she’d never think about me or the chance she’d ruined for my career. She didn’t care about anyone but herself and her stupid Marshmallow.
I sighed as I found my way out onto the street. The craziest thing? When I was looking into her eyes, waiting for her to kiss me, there had been one second when I’d thought I might be able to do this.
2.
Jessica
“Bastard!”
I groaned into the phone again. Cleo’s big blue eyes looked up at me with concern, and I stroked her soft fur until she nestled back into my lap.
“Sorry.” I sighed. “I get that he’s my agent, but he can’t just tell me what to do. None of you can.”
“I explained to him how important this film is to you,” my publicist said patiently over the phone. “But he insists it’s going to kill your career.”
“Well what’s he going to? Drop me as a client?”
Samantha laughed dryly. Of course there was no way my agent would let me go. I was the biggest client he had.
“He could be right,” she said hesitantly.
“Not you, too.”
“Well, I’m just saying, your image is built on the romantic dream of happily-ever-after.”
“That’s why this film is even more important!” I gripped my hair in frustration. “People need to see that two same-sex partners being together can be as normal as a man and a woman.”
“I know, I know, you don’t need to explain it again.”
“Apparently I do, because you just interrupted an audition to ask me to drop out of the movie.”
“I’m just asking you to think about what this could mean.”
“I know what this could mean! It could mean that a lonely kid in high school will know someone’s standing up for her. It could mean a guy confused about his sexuality could have some context to understand himself. This movie could mean a lot to a lot of people.”
Her voice was quiet. “I see your point.”
“Please don’t ask me to drop out again, because it’s not going to happen. I’m already funding half the film.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry I asked. Look, can you do me a favor and go out somewhere with Oliver tonight? Somewhere you’ll be photographed? Meanwhile I’ll try to think of how to keep this from blowing up.”
“Let it blow up!”
“And here I thought you were my easiest client.”
I said goodbye and tried not to be annoyed as I hung up. I’d gotten opposition from my PR firm since I’d first gotten involved with this movie. My publicist seemed to think it would hurt my image if I appeared in a lesbian film, and that alone showed me how necessary it was for me to do this.
My best friend Sara had come out of the closet when we were teens, and the hard time she’d gotten since infuriated me. So what if she loved women? Why the hell should that matter to anyone? After all the betrayal and backstabbing that’d followed me on my rise to fame, Sara was the one friend who I’d always known I could count on. I wanted her to feel like I had her back as much as she’d always had mine.
When this movie came on my radar, I knew I had to do it. Sure, I’d never kissed a girl before, but I didn’t see any issue with it. I’d faked it with plenty of actors, so this shouldn’t be any different.
I stroked Cleo’s soft fur as she looked up at me as if to ask what I was thinking about.
“Just about how awful and stupid the world can be,” I answered. “Which you already know too much about.”
Her furry little head tickled me as I planted a kiss between her ears. I’d felt like such a failure when I’d thought I’d lost Cleo. I’d been about ready to break down when I realized she hadn’t had her medication yet. What if that actress hadn’t found her for me? I made a mental note to remember that I owed her big time. And to ask what her name was.
I opened a small orange bottle and nestled a pill into a pâté of food in her dish. She sniffed curiously before digging in. I lay out on the carpeted floor to watch her cute little teeth go to work.