I’d been an idiot for idolizing her. I realized that now. Maybe I’d been lying as much as Jess had. Desperately trying to convince myself that what we’d had was real. Telling myself that Jess was perfect, that she would never hurt me. I’d only believed what I’d wanted to believe.
Maybe I’d deserved to get hurt.
The crew finally finished filming Jess on the horse and my stomach twisted into knots because this was the part where we had to do our scene together. I’d have to kiss her for the first time since we’d… broken up? Had we ever really even been together? I sure felt broken up about whatever had happened between us.
I willed myself go numb again as the director walked us through the blocking of the scene. I let my lines roll off my tongue, pretending I was alone in my room, that I wasn’t talking to the person I still wanted more than anything.
The sun was setting, glinting off Jessica’s blonde hair. She pressed closer to me, making me step back until I was pushed against the stable wall. The fruity scent of Jessica’s perfume wouldn’t allow me to pretend she wasn’t there anymore. I looked up into her eyes, my heart aching as I whispered my next line.
“I love you.”
Her warm, soft body pressed against mine, enveloping me with everything I knew I couldn’t have. She pressed her lips to my ear and murmured back, “I love you too.”
My mouth closed over hers and I clutched at her back, holding on to her, to that moment that I knew wasn’t real, but wanted more than anything.
‘I love you.’
I replayed the sound of her voice in my head over and over as I lost myself in her kiss. Her hands slid down my neck, drawing goosebumps from my skin and I melted into her.
‘I love you.’
‘I love you.’
‘I love you.’
I wished I could just say it for real.
Jessica pulled away, blue eyes clouded over, lips glistening. She stared into my eyes, as if she could read every thought in my mind. Would it really be so bad to go back to what we were? Even if I couldn’t be sure what was real between us, at least I’d hold on to this.
“That’s great!” the director shouted excitedly, snapping me out of the moment.
The crew brightened their lights to adjust for the growing twilight, but the director waved a hand. “I think we’re done. That take was perfect.”
A cool breeze rustled my hair as Jessica stepped away from me. I resolved, in that moment, not to grab her back. What we’d just shared—everything we’d shared—had just been an act. Part of the show. I had to let go.
***
It was weird to wake up Monday morning and have not have to hurry off to the bustling studio. No makeup crew to fuss over me. No last-minute script changes to memorize. No filming. No Jessica. It was all over.
In two months, I’d have to fly out to Rosebridge, New Hampshire to attend the premiere of Real Love at IndieFest, but until then, there were just a handful of interviews I had to attend—without Jessica, thankfully.
So what now?
A week after the last shoot ended, I was sitting at
my table, trying to budget out how to make my final paycheck from the studio last through the month, when my phone rang. I stiffened. Could it be Jessica calling? Would I answer if it was? I looked at the caller ID. A number I didn’t recognize.
“Hello?”
“Am I speaking to Amelia Earhart?”
“Yes,” I said hesitantly.
“This is Alex Bainbridge from Western Talent.”
“Okay?”
“I’m contacting you because our connections in the business could really help someone with your talent and I’d like to invite you to sign on with us.”