“Well, no, that’s the thing.” I stood up, excited. “Turns out there’s been a lot of online excitement with people speculating that we’re dating. This movie’s getting huge attention!”
“So now you want to tell people we’re dating because it’d be good for your career.” She went silent for a moment before finally saying, “I’m not sure how to tell what’s real with you, Jessica.”
“You’re not serious are you?” I took her hands in mine and looked into her eyes. “You don’t really doubt the way I feel for you, do you?”
She looked down at the floor for a long time before finally saying without looking up, “It’s hard to tell sometimes. Like you said, this business can wreck your ability to truly connect with people.”
I inhaled a sharp breath, pulling Amelia into my arms. I’d been so horrible for denying our relationship. I wasn’t sure how she would ever forgive me, but I had to start somewhere.
“Will you let me take you out today?” I begged. “I want to show the whole world how much I care about you.”
Amelia looked hesitant before finally nodding. “As long as you put some pants on.”
***
I took Amelia to an amusement park that afternoon. I hated roller coasters, but I knew she loved them and I would’ve done anything to make her happy. I just wanted her to give me another chance to show how much I cared about her.
Admitting to myself and everyone else that Amelia and I were dating felt amazing. I’d always been self-conscious about grabbing her hand or kissing her in public before, but now I went for it whenever I wanted. Which was most of the time.
As we walked into the amusement park, three camera phones popped out to snap photos of us. I smiled and waved, holding on tight to Amelia’s hand. In a few days, every magazine would be plastered with photos of our interlaced fingers.
“You sure are liking this attention,” she noted, shifting uncomfortably as she took in all the eyes directed at us.
“I love having our relationship out in the open.” When I saw her lips press into a line, I asked, “Don’t you?”
“So now that the public’s called it a relationship, it’s a relationship?”
“Are you still upset?”
“No... I dunno.” She didn’t seem happy, but didn’t look like her usual serious self either. She just looked… sad.
“Let’s get some cotton candy!” I said excitedly, knowing that Amelia had an uncontrollable sweet tooth. The cotton candy actually seemed to do the trick. As we waited to get on the largest rollercoaster in the park, Amelia’s bad mood melted like the sugar in her perfect mouth.
“If this cotton candy were white,” she said between bites, “it would look just like Cleo.”
I snorted a laugh. “Maybe we should bring some home for her.”
“Jess.” Her expression turned to alarm. “You can’t feed dogs cotton candy.”
“I was joking.” I ruffled her hair and heard the snap of a camera somewhere in the distance. She batted my hand away and took the comb from her pocket to smooth her hair back out. My lips quirked into a smile.
Ahead of us, the attendant signaled for us to board the roller coaster. As we waited to be buckled in, I could already feel my stomach beginning to drop. I swallowed, telling myself I was doing this for Amelia. I took her hand in mine and heard the snap snap snap of several more cameras.
“Why are you being so touchy with me today?” She pulled away, keeping her eyes averted from the cameras.
“Can’t a woman be touchy with her girlfriend?” I said loud enough for anyone around us to hear.
Her eyes went wide. She was about to open her mouth when the car jerked forward, cutting her off. The light around us disappeared as we slid into a tunnel, the the darkness filling with the slow tick tick tick of the cars ascending the track.
“Will you tell me something honestly?” Amelia whispered into my ear. “Would you have called me your girlfriend if it were just the two of us? No cameras. No one to gossip online.”
“Of course!” I held on tight to her hand as we tipped back further, mounting higher and higher in the pitch darkness, my stomach preparing to drop out of my body.
“It’s just, you say one thing when we’re alone and another thing when we’re in public.”
“What I said when we were alone was wrong.” I stroked her hand, silently begging her to forgive me. Maybe getting involved with Amelia had been a bad call, but I couldn’t bring myself to regret it. I wished I’d just accepted our relationship for what it was instead of being an enormous ass. Amelia was so sensitive. I should’ve realized how badly I could hurt her.
Anything else I could’ve said was silenced by the sudden jolt of the car. Wind rushed through my hair. I gripped Amelia’s hand tight as we sped through the track, twisting and flipping at a dizzying pace. I wanted to be sick. I wanted this to be over. My head spun as we finally jerked to a stop.