“Well, you shouldn’t be.” She turned again. “You had more important things to do.”
She kept walking, but I caught up with her at the bus stop. “No, I upset you, so I should be sorry, and I am.”
The look on Amelia’s face was killing me. I hated disappointing people.
“Look, that’s not why I’m upset, so just drop it.” She sat down heavily on the bench next to the bus stop.
“So you are upset.” I sat down next to her. “You don’t have to keep it to yourself. If I screwed up, you can tell me.”
She looked at me as if weighing something in her mind. Finally, she said, “I saw you were out with Oliver last night.”
“Sorry, I guess I should have told you why I had to cancel.” Was that the only reason she was angry? Something felt off.
She kicked at a candy wrapper someone had left on the ground. “How long have you two been back together?”
“Oh. Umm…” I didn’t really know how to answer that question. Oliver and I hadn’t gone over our story, and to be honest, I didn’t really feel comfortable telling Amelia we were together when that technically wasn’t true.
“Let me rephrase that.” Her lips pressed together. “Were you dating Oliver when you and I fooled around the other night?”
“What?” Gears slowly clicked into place. Amelia couldn’t be suggesting what I thought she was, could she?
“I don’t like cheaters.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Remember that breakup I told you about? My boyfriend cheated on me. Worst part was that he acted like nothing was going on for months. Even talked about moving in together before he finally left me for one of the other girls he was seeing. So, to reiterate: I don’t like cheaters.”
“Amelia, it’s not like that at all. What you and I did was just—well, it was just practice.”
That seemed to hurt her even more. Her brows closed in and she looked away from me. “So the two of you were together?” Her jaw clenched. “I hate that you involved me in something like that.”
“No!” I wanted to grab her. “That wasn’t what I was trying to say. Oliver and I weren’t together when you and I, umm, rehearsed privately.”
That was as close as I could come to telling the truth. This secret belonged to Oliver as much as it did me and I didn’t have a right to tell anyone without his permission. Besides, even if I trusted Amelia, I didn’t want her to be responsible for keeping this quiet. Her eyes scanned my face like she was deciding if she could believe me. I couldn’t take it. I grabbed her in my arms and pulled her tight to my chest.
“I’m sorry,” I said into her ear. “I’m sorry I had to cancel last night. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was going out with Oliver, and I’m sorry for anything else I did to upset you.”
I felt her body relax into mine, her head resting against my shoulder. I just wanted to keep holding her like that. Which was why I had to let go. I slid away from her on the bench, the tiny space between our thighs feeling like a canyon.
“Sorry I lost it on you.” Amelia wiped her nose on the back of her hand and I realized there were tears in her eyes. “I know I have a temper.”
“Don’t worry about it.” I put my hand to her back before moving it quickly.
The rumble of the bus loomed up the street and Amelia stood, fishing out some change from her pocket.
“Let me give you a ride home.”
“It’s fine.” She smiled at me, but her eyes seemed sad. “I’ll see you later.”
“Later.” I gave a half wave and watched her board the bus.
I wanted to grab her back, stuff her in my car and cuddle her to pieces. But I knew I couldn’t do that. Aside from the fact that we worked together, I’d already built a foundation of dishonesty that was no place to start a relationship. I sighed. I guess I’d settle for cuddling Cleo to pieces when I got home.
13.
Amelia
I’d been so stupid for lashing out at Jess. Of course she would never cheat on Oliver. Jessica would never hurt anyone. Not intentionally, at least. I looked at my sad reflection in the mirror as I dressed.
Jessica’s only flaw was that she was flawless. Of course everyone would want to be with her. But not everyone could, and obviously she would pick Oliver over me. She was open-minded enough to fool around with me, but that didn’t mean she’d actually consider dating a woman. Especially a woman like me. I mean, what did I have to offer her? I wasn’t a big star. I was broke and bad-tempered, and Jessica could do a lot better than that.
The next two weeks of filming went fine. I guess. The director and producer seemed happy, and it all went smoothly. Jessica and I didn’t have anymore private rehearsals, but I couldn’t say I didn’t look forward to our scenes together. Sure, she was dating Oliver, but that didn’t make it wrong that I got a thrill out of holding her hand or having her whisper in my ear, did it? Besides, it was all just pretend.