“You might be right.” I chewed my lip, really not liking the idea of ending things with Amelia before they’d even really started.
“I’m right. Trust me.” Oliver clutched my hand desperately. “Promise me you’ll put some distance between the two of you. For both of your sakes.”
“I promise,” I said, feeling my heart sink. That was the last thing I wanted.
After I made sure everyone was tucked in, I curled into my own bed with Cleo. Had I been kidding myself thinking that what Amelia and I were doing didn’t mean anything? I thought of how I’d feel if Amelia were fooling around with someone else… Not great, to say the least. That jealousy wasn’t a good sign. It made it clear: I had real feelings for Amelia.
I cuddled a pillow to my chest—then stopped—because I realized I was pretending it was her. Oliver was right. Amelia and I couldn’t keep getting closer as long as we had the movie to shoot. A real relationship with a co-star was too much risk. And I realized, now, that a real relationship was exactly what I wanted.
But as much as I wanted to think that Amelia and I could start a relationship that might last forever, I had to be realistic. This was my career on the line. And even more, everything the movie represented was at risk if things between me and Amelia blew up. I hadn’t fought the pressure from my publicist, my parents—everyone—just to ruin this movie.
I sighed, rolling onto my back. I’d just have to put some distance between me and Amelia. We could still be friendly, but no more inviting her over, no more pinching her cheeks, and no more ‘practice’. I groaned at that last one, because honestly, just thinking the word ‘practice’ had me wishing she were in bed with me.
***
I woke to my ringing phone and rolled over with a sigh. I couldn’t ignore my mom’s calls forever.
“Hello?” I said sleepily into the phone.
“My credit card was rejected last night.” Her voice came through firm and awake even though it was only six in the morning.
“Sorry, I must’ve forgotten to pay it off.”
“Are you having financial issues, Jessica?”
“No.” I sat up, rubbing my eyes. “I just forgot. I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t cause you too much trouble.”
“Trouble? I was shopping online and had to reset my entire cart. So yes, I would call that trouble.” She sighed. “Maybe next time, I should buy you a calendar to help with your forgetfulness.”
“I won’t forget again.”
“Are your finances really in order? You know, I wouldn’t have to ask if you hadn’t removed me from your account.”
I winced. Separating my mother from my finances when I turned eighteen had been one of the hardest things I’d ever done, but I couldn’t let her keep indulging her shopping addiction with my bank account. It wasn’t good for her and it wasn’t good for my future.
“What is this indie film even paying you?” Her tone was accusatory. I guess she really did think I’d gone broke.
“They’re not exactly paying me. I’m sort of financing the movie.” I toyed with the hem of my PJ shirt.
“Excuse me?” Her voice was flat. “Did I just hear you correctly? Surely you didn’t tell me that you’re paying for the privilege to appear in this flop.”
“I’ll earn back ten percent of the profits.”
“Profits? Hah!” She was hysterical now.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll pay off your credit card and I won’t miss a bill again, I promise. I have to go. We start filming today.”
“Just you wait a minute, Jessica—”
“Love you, bye.”
I hung up. It felt awful, but I had to be firm on my boundaries. That was something I’d learned in counseling back when I’d first freed myself from my parent’s firm grip on my life. I’d become pretty depressed at seventeen, feeling like I had no control and no real relationship with my parents.
I didn’t resent my mom. I was grateful that she’d pushed me into acting, even though I’d hated it when I was younger. I had the career of most people’s dreams, and I’d always make sure my parents’ bills were taken care of. But I couldn’t let them steamroll over my life anymore.
I quickly paid my mom’s credit card bill—wincing at the amount of shopping she’d done—before showering and getting dressed. As I ate breakfast, I reminded myself repeatedly that whatever had been blossoming between me and Amelia was over for now. The more I accepted that I could develop serious feelings for her, the more I realized that Oliver was right. I couldn’t put this movie at risk by exploring what I felt for Amelia. I just couldn’t.
There was a buzz in the air when I arrived on set for the first day of filming. I couldn’t see Amelia anywhere. Additional bodies milled around the sets, holding lights and other equipment. Extras chattered excitedly, taking out their phones to snap pictures of me as I walked by. A few asked me to take selfies with them, so I was late getting to makeup. I apologized for my lateness to the team of stylists as they slathered my face with sticky gunk. When I stumbled out of my dressing room, I glanced around for Amelia, but still didn’t see her. I told myself to stop looking for her.