Oh.
Okay.
I’d thought we’d drive to the studio together, but she must’ve had somewhere to get to in a hurry. Too bad for her, I guess, because she missed out on breakfast.
Why did that make me feel so… I didn’t even know. Something told me I’d be taking another run that day. Something about our interaction felt unfinished, like she’d bolted after a one night stand. Except what’d happened between us definitely wasn’t a one night stand. We’d done normal friend stuff. And then kissed. And then cuddled all night.
Definitely going to need another run.
***
With Cleo doing better apart from me, I left her with Oliver for the day to see if she’d be able to spend more time away from me. It was just as well. I rarely got into a bad mood, and I didn’t want her around to see one.
I felt awkward arriving at the studio that afternoon to start rehearsal. For some reason, I wasn’t sure how to deal with Amelia. I’d thought I’d figured everything out, but then she’d just… left.
It had felt, well, I didn’t want to say rude, but I dunno. I was kinda hurt. Maybe that was a dumb way to feel. But I couldn’t sort things out or explain what I felt when I saw her leaning against the wall, waiting to start rehearsal.
Amelia had been reading a book and when I entered the room. Her eyes darted up to mine before looking quickly back down. Was she mad at me for some reason? I shifted from one foot to the other and tugged on my shirt. I wanted to go up and talk to her, but somehow she made that feel so hard. Since when had I ever been shy?
“Okay, Jessica, Maria, we’re going to start from the top with the scene between Tabby and her mom.”
I h
ad to get my head in the game. This was why co-stars didn’t get involved. Not that Amelia and I had gotten involved, but I mean hypothetically, that was why we wouldn’t. Well, that, and the fact that I’d never been into women.
I wondered if Amelia was. She’d said she’d never kissed a girl before, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t attracted to women. I wondered what that all could mean.
Enough! I couldn’t let myself get distracted. I pushed all my feelings for Amelia to the back of my head as the rehearsal got underway.
7.
Amelia
I wanted to watch the rehearsal, but I couldn’t risk meeting Jessica’s eyes. I’d known kissing her was weird, but I didn’t think it was going to be a big deal. I realized how freaked out she’d been by my behavior when I’d woken up and she was gone. Just fucking vanished—no note, no text, nothing. Her message was clear: she wanted to pretend the kiss never happened.
Jessica had said herself that kissing outside of rehearsal felt weird. So why had I gone for it?
Because apparently I hated myself, that was why. It seemed my subconscious felt I deserved to wallow in awkwardness. And boy was I wallowing.
I burned with embarrassment like there were fire ants crawling under my skin every time I looked at Jessica. I had to get over this. If I didn’t stop feeling so uncomfortable, I was going to screw up the whole rehearsal. Our scene was coming up. Could I handle it without exploding in a fiery spectacle of regret? Stay tuned to find out.
I dared a glance at Jessica, who was fully immersed in the scene. She looked different, having taken on the sassy persona of her character, Tabby. Her words were clipped and terse. None of her cheerful ditziness showed on her face. I would’ve laughed at how brooding she looked if it wasn’t downright convincing.
My eyes fell to her downturned lips. The lips that I’d kissed. The lips that I was going to kiss again. The lips I wanted to kiss again. My heart thundered against my chest at that realization. Why did I want that? I wasn’t into women—was I?
My eyes roamed down Jessica’s body. She definitely wasn’t bad looking, but that wasn’t why I wanted to feel her body pressed against mine. It’d just felt… good.
Jesus Christ, I had to stop thinking that way.
It hadn’t felt good. Nothing felt good. I felt awful as I watched Jessica walk off the set to complete the scene. Why was I even having these weird feelings? I wasn’t even attracted to her, so why did I want to kiss and cuddle with her?
Maybe it’d just been that long since I’d had any kind of intimacy in my life. Was I that lonely? I needed to find a boyfriend.
“Did you hear me?”
I looked up to see Braelyn waving at me. “You missed your cue.”
“Sorry,” I apologized.