“I just really hope this movie makes a real difference.” Her blue eyes met mine with a burning passion that I had to respect.
“I hope it does too.” Why was my heart racing? Why were my palms sweaty?
“Should we practice now?” she asked.
“Umm, sure.” The galloping in my chest intensified. I scooted a little closer to her, wiping my palms on my pants.
“Maybe I’ll brush my teeth first.” She licked her lips. “I probably taste like popcorn.”
“It’s fine.” I tried to dry my hands on my pants again, but they seemed to have become bottomless swamps. “I mean, I probably taste like popcorn too, so it doesn’t matter.”
“Sure.” She moved closer to me until our thighs were touching. My bones turned to Jell-O. I wanted to do something with my hands, but I couldn’t seem to move. Jessica’s face got closer and closer to me, the wine on her breath mixing with her perfume to create a completely intoxicating smell. Her lips were so close to mine that I could feel the heat of them—and then she burst out laughing.
“Sorry, sorry.” She didn’t stop laughing as she tried to speak. “It’s just you feel like my friend now, and it’s weird to kiss my friends.”
After all that tension she was laughing? I scowled, but it only made Jessica howl even more and I couldn’t help smiling too.
“I’ll get us a few more drinks,” she said, rising. “That always gets sorority girls making out with each other, so it should work for us, right?”
I laughed, but my mind was strangely stuck on a specific detail: Jessica had just called me her friend. Why did that feel so good? I couldn’t even begin to name the emotions churning with the wine in my stomach when Jessica flopped back down beside me and handed me another drink. I sipped slowly, because I already felt like my head wasn’t on right.
An hour later and nothing had happened between us—well, not nothing. A lot more laughing. That weird feeling that I’d felt when she’d called us friends had spread through my entire body, creating an unfamiliar warmth.
After the first movie ended, Jessica put on Kung Fu Hustle, not even knowing it was my all time favorite. It was an odd realization that this was the best day I’d had in a long time. Jessica got up to pop some more popcorn and when she came back, she sprawled comfortably on the couch, one leg resting heavily over my lap. With the warm buzz I had going, I didn’t even flinch. I felt… comfortable.
“I’m starting to think this kiss isn’t going to happen.” I laughed awkwardly.
“Yeah, maybe it was a dumb idea,” she admitted. “It just feels weird to do it outside of rehearsal.”
Her attention was lost when a fight scene exploded across the screen. Her posture tensed and she leaned towards the TV excitedly, but her concentration was suddenly interrupted by her phone ringing. She looked at it, sighed and tucked it back into her pocket. I just had enough time to see it was her mom calling again.
“Do you not get along with your parents?” Why did I ask that? Was I really that drunk?
“No.” To her credit, Jessica didn’t evade the question. “We get along. Well…” She ran a hand through her blonde hair. “You know how this business is. Sometimes people you thought you could trust…”
“I get it,” I said quickly. “I’m sorry for prying. I know what that’s like. I mean, sort of.”
I told her the story of my roommate sabotaging my audition. I’d meant to show her I understood, but the more I spoke, the more it felt like I was getting something off my chest. I realized I’d never told anyone that story before.
As I finished speaking, I became aware of how close Jessica had gotten to me. Our shoulders were pressed against one another, faces turned so they were only inches apart. My glass was almost empty, but I drank from it anyways just to have something to do with my lips.
“My mom was the one who pushed me into acting.” Jessica played with her hair, but didn’t look away from my eyes. “She gave up her own career to help me pursue mine, so I guess I should be grateful. It’s just…” She chewed her lip for a moment. “She started measuring her success by how well my movies did. Her whole world revolves around me. When I have a movie that doesn’t exceed
the last one’s success, she loses it on me, which is—well, bad—but whatever. But now she wants me to drop out of this movie, because there’s no way a lesbian romance is going to be a blockbuster. Real Love means so much to me that I just can’t stand to talk to her right now.”
When had I put my hand over hers? Jessica looked down at our overlaid palms, then back up at my face as if to ask a question I definitely didn’t have the answer to.
“So I think you know how I feel,” she continued, speaking slower and slower, her concentration seemingly stolen by something in my eyes. “Sometimes it’s like this business wrecks your ability to connect with people in a real way.”
I had no clue what I was doing until my lips were on hers.
I felt the electric shock jolt from her skin to mine, but she didn’t move away. Her lips parted so I could taste the wine on her tongue. Her hand was in my hair, pulling me down onto the couch as she kissed me deeper and deeper. Our rhythmic breathing became deafeningly loud. The softness of her lips was strange, but not entirely unpleasant. My body seemed to have no clue how to react until she pulled away, blue eyes heavily lidded.
Her hand was still on my cheek, legs intertwined with mine. We just stared at each other. What just happened? Was that practice? It sure as hell hadn’t felt like practice. Why had I kissed her? Maybe there’d been one flashing moment when I’d just felt so bonded to her? Or, hell, I didn’t know!
Finally, Jessica laughed.
“I’m so tired,” she said with a slightly drunken slur. She closed her eyes and slid her arm down to lay heavily over my shoulders. Actually, it felt like we were cuddling.