7
Kendra
Had it all been a dream? Because that’s definitely how it felt when I’d woken up. I spent nearly an hour lying in bed staring at the ceiling, going over the events of the night before. Everything seemed so unreal.
I’d gotten up on stage with a band and played the drums again without having a complete anxiety attack.
Oh, and now I had a girlfriend.
I repeated our kiss in my mind over and over, still in complete disbelief that we were actually together. The kiss had felt unreal then, too. It hadn’t been like anything we’d shared the first night we’d spent together, no, it was way better than anything we’d shared. Even the sex.
How could a kiss be better than sex? I had no explanation for it, but it was. The moment I touched my lips to hers, it felt like fireworks were exploding above my head. It felt like I’d been zapped with a bolt of lightning that excited every single cell in my body. The only thing that could compare to it was the feeling of being on stage, performing in front of people.
No, this was ever better than that. And it was only a kiss.
I wanted to tell someone about what had happened, but Monica had driven to Manchester for a video game convention, so I had the house to myself. If I told someone, I thought it might feel more real.
Once I see Melany again, it’ll feel real.
I thought of calling her, but I didn’t want to bother her while she was working, so I headed out to the Riverwalk to start my day. I’d been out there for a couple hours when out of nowhere, Kaitlyn and Brianne showed up.
“Hey, Kendra,” Brianne said, shaking my hand. They both had their instrument cases with them. “We were hoping you’d be out here today.”
“You guys are playing today too?” I asked.
“Yup,” said Kaitlyn. “We usually play right around here, or down by the ice cream shop.”
“Let’s play together,” I suggested. “We could probably just do the same stuff we did last night. People would love it.”
Kaitlyn grinned. “You read my mind.”
“I’m totally down,” agreed Brianne.
They set down their cases and started to prep their instruments. Last night, Kaitlyn had been on an electric guitar, but today she had an acoustic. Brianne’s violin was also unamplified, so I made a mental note to temper my volume.
“I have to say again that I’m super happy we found you, by the way,” Kaitlyn said. “It’s like, destiny.”
“It really was an amazing coincidence,” I said. “It’s hard to believe that last night even happened. I hadn’t been in front of a real drum set in months.”
“Really?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Actually, it was this street drumming that helped me get over the blocks I was suffering from. I’d been literally unable to play on my drum set. Every time I tried, I’d get these horrible anxiety attacks.”
“What happened?” asked Brianne, and I filled them in on what had happened at Beasley with my professor.
“You know, I’ve known a lot of people who have gone through similar things,” she said. “I was in the music program too. It can be really, really tough. The competition can get to people sometimes. It’s terrible that your mentor said those things to you, though. I wonder where he was coming from.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I’d already been going through a rough patch in my life so my self-esteem was not in the best shape in the first place. So, I couldn’t even bring myself to stick around to try and find out. I just kind of withered away slowly.” I sighed. “I must sound pathetic.”
“No,” said Brianne. “Not at all. I understand. The pressure can be crippling, sometimes. Personally, I’m just glad I have my girlfriend to support me.”
“Yeah, fuck school,” said Kaitlyn. “All that rigidity stifles creativity. I mean, to each their own, of course. But I think you’re a damn good drummer as it is.”
“Thanks,” I said.
“Would you ever go back?” asked Brianne.
“Fuck that,” I said without hesitation, and Brianne laughed. “I don’t want to see that professor again.”