“Wonderful. Just let me know if you need anything at all. Enjoy your meals.” I hurried away, wishing this shift would just be over.
Why, to go to Shadetree?
No, I wasn’t going to do that.
And yet, the idea continued to burn in my mind. I could go just to see the show. It would be interesting to see the musicians playing there. I could chat with Melany—or even just ignore her.
But maybe I want to chat with her.
It wasn’t like anything had to happen. We could just talk and then go our separate ways. Maybe we could be friends? Friends couldn’t hurt me in the same way that Max had.
But would I be able to see her as just a friend? After what we’d done together?
I peeked into Herschel’s office to ask whether or not I should give Brandon Miyaguchi and his wife a bill, and he told me to continue treating them as if they were normal customers. I went back out to clear away their bowls and offer them dessert, and noticed the croquette still sitting untouched.
“Did you want me to box this up for you?” I asked.
“No, that’s fine,” he said.
“Oh,” I said nervously. “Was there a problem?”
“Well, I ordered a crab croquette.”
Shit.
“Oh, my goodness,” I said. “I’m so sorry. This was a tuna one, wasn’t it? I can go replace it for you right now…”
“That won’t be necessary. Thank you, though. We’ll take the check now.”
I stood there trying to find some way to fix what I’d done, but it was too late. I’d screwed up.
“Yes, sir, Mr. Miyaguchi. Again, I’m so sorry about that.”
I hurried away, wanting nothing more than to disappear forever.
“Turn me into sushi,” I groaned to Preston. “Just take that giant knife and turn me into sushi.” I explained what had happened.
“It could’ve been worse,” he offered. “You could’ve dropped the food all over them.”
I watched from the kitchen as Herschel saw Brandon and his wife out the door. They were chatting, and I wondered if maybe Brandon was telling him how terrible a server I was. Yeah, there were storm clouds overhead, and I could smell the rain coming. I kept my head down the rest of my shift. Herschel never said anything to me. In fact, it felt like he was avoiding me.
After work, I sat in my car in the parking lot and stared at the steering wheel. For once, my mind wasn’t occupied with Melany—instead I was repeating my screw-up over and over and over, scrutinizing every moment, wondering if maybe, just maybe, I’d been polite enough for Mr. Miyaguchi to forgive how badly I’d fucked up.
God. Not only had I messed up the order, I wasn’t even paying attention to him. I’d blanked on the tuna source question and had completely made up my answer, and he definitely would’ve known it. He was testing me, after all.
My chest was so tight with anxiety it felt like I couldn’t breathe.
“Fuck everything,” I said to nobody. I was trying not to cry.
I pulled my car out of the lot and drove for home. About halfway there, I remembered the little rectangle of paper that was still stuffed in my pocket. The event had only just started, I realized. I could go right now.
I gritted my teeth, tightened my grip on the wheel, and diverted my course to take me to Shadetree.
The place was surprisingly lively, with a crowd of people milling around outside the front snacking on hors d’oeuvres. The atmosphere felt almost festival-like, with the crowd and drinks and the food trucks. I wandered through the building and went out back to where the majority of the crowd was. There was a small performance area set up, complete with lighting and sound amplification. There was a drum kit, and in front of it someone was playing the cello. Wooden slats had been set up all around and were lined with student illustrations, ranging from commercial graphics, to movie style concept art, to fully rendered life drawings. I made my way through, half checking out the artwork, but mostly just keeping an eye out for Melany. Then I spotted her.
She was chatting with a young woman around my age, the two of them sipping from clear plastic cups of red wine. Melany leaned in and said something, and the girl tossed her head back and laughed, and then nodded in agreement.
A sharp twinge inside painfully brought me back in time seven months. I gritted my teeth, not wanting to look. I thought about just leaving.