“Cool. I was hoping you’d say that. Mine is a pigsty at the moment. Where’d you park?”
“The lot over there.”
“Me too.” She slipped her arm around mine. I felt nothing. “Let’s go.”
We started towards the lot, the glow of the street lamps casting yellow circles on the cracked sidewalk. A foul smell drifted up from somewhere, and I realized that someone had puked all over the wall. I gritted my teeth.
“So, what do you do, Mel?”
“I’m a programmer,” I said.
“Ooh, like with computers?”
“Cell phones, actually…”
“Uh huh. I overheard you two talking in there. You have your own company?”
“Yeah.” I didn’t feel like expanding. Or conversing at all, really.
“That’s so hot.” She leaned closer to me. I could smell her perfume—she’d applied way too much, and it was overpowering. “And different, for a woman.”
We walked into the parking lot, which was empty except for our two cars. Alysia unlocked her car, and I walked her over to it. She stopped at the driver’s door, and then turned around and pulled me into a kiss. Her perfume was really strong.
“You are so hot,” she said, and she grabbed the collar of my jacket and swung me around, pushing me against the car. She planted a messy kiss on my lips. “Fuck waiting for your place. Let’s fool around right here in the parking lot.”
My face twitched, and I suddenly felt repulsed. I thought of Kendra, and how I felt when she’d kissed me on the couch. How my heart had leapt so high, and how it felt like I never wanted to stop kissing her. You call that a hookup, Melany? Is that what it’s like to kiss just a girl? Someone who means nothing?
It made no sense, but it was obvious. She wasn’t like anyone I’d been with before. Kendra was different.
Alysia’s hands crept beneath my skirt and to tug at my underwear.
“You know what?” I said, grabbing her wrist. “This is a bad idea.”
She looked puzzled. “Too public? That’s fine, we can go...”
“No, I mean everything. Sorry. I have to go now.”
I walked away, feeling confused and embarrassed.
“Really? What did I do? Hey!”
I slammed the door of my car and roared out of the parking lot. I needed to meet Kendra again.
5
Kendra
Finally, after so many agonizing months, it felt like the storm clouds that had followed me everywhere were finally clearing. Things were finally going my way—I was drumming again. Sure, it wasn’t on a real drum set, but it was still drumming, and I was making money doing it. The street drumming didn’t carry the same stabbing anxiety that lessons did. It felt free and low-pressure. People didn’t care if the performance wasn’t perfect. They loved everything I did, flaws and all. And damn, did it feel amazing to perform for a crowd again.
Could I just be in the eye of the storm? Maybe, but it didn’t matter to me at that moment. The important thing was that I actually felt hopeful again. Things were working out.
And then there was Melany. I’d thought about her occasionally over the past week, and on the day after our fling I admit that I was hoping to see her again. When she didn’t show, it was a sharp reminder of my priorities, and what the whole thing was. One time.
I reminded myself that it was probably a natural thing to have her on my mind—after all, she’d been the first since Max. Of course I’d think about the first person I’d been intimate with in nearly a year.
Yesterday, my manager had called a staff meeting and told us that the owner of the restaurant was going to be coming in over the week to check up on things. Apparently, there’d be a chance for some of us to receive more hours, so we all needed to perform at our best. From the way that he’d broken the news to us—quickly and eager to retreat back into his office—I read into it as “some of you may end up being fired.” Still, I wasn’t deterred. I could be on my game.
I gathered up my street kit and prepped to hit the Riverwalk for the day. Monica slumped in her usual spot on the couch, her mouth slack-jawed.