“That’s so cool that you can play an instrument,” she said, eyes shining.
“It’s fun,” I said, agreeing. “And I love that it’s a creative outlet. If I was only doing schoolwork all the time, I’d go crazy. As it is, I’m sad that I can’t paint.”
Margie nodded, and there was a pause as we finished up the last of our food. “Well… I’ll think about what you’ve told me. I mean, if we can be friendly, I can make other friends too, right?”
“Right.” I smiled. “I’ll see if my friends want to come to the Shadetree thing and I’ll let you know.”
“Perfect. Thanks, Brianne.”
“No, thank you,” I said. “If you hadn’t bothered to asked me to lunch, we wouldn’t have had this lovely outing.”
We stood up and gathered our things, and I tried to remember where I was supposed to be going next.
“I’m back on campus,” she said, “so I guess I’ll see you around.”
“Yeah. See you, Margie!”
After we parted ways, my brain was swirling with thoughts. Margie was a quiet, shy person, but as I well knew, those types of people tended to have a lot going on inside. And I wanted to figure her out.
MARGIE
I couldn’t believe that lunch had gone as well as it had. In fact, I was still marveling at it when I got ready for my outing to Shadetree.
Brianne had actually wanted to hang out with me a
nd she wanted me to meet her friends. Something about that made me feel special, like I was worthy. It wasn’t just that she wanted to spend time with me, she wanted others to spend time with me too.
I couldn’t remember the last time I thought I’d made a friend. Well, freshman year, I supposed. But that had fizzled out quickly.
Brianne had said some things I’d found intriguing. For one, she’d mentioned the Spectrum Coalition. I had no idea why I couldn’t stop thinking about the possibility of attending a meeting. I was pretty solidly a straight, cis woman. Not LGBT in any way I could think of.
So if that was who I was, why couldn’t I stop thinking about attending a Spectrum meeting?
Maybe it was because she’d said it was a great way to meet people. It sounded primarily like a social club, though I’d checked their Facebook page and they did fundraisers and other activities as well. But I got a good vibe from the people in the photos—smiling, friendly, good-looking. It all seemed too good to be true.
But I didn’t like the idea of showing up when I wasn’t LGBT myself. It seemed wrong somehow, even if Brianne had invited me. Then again, maybe she’d invited me because she thought I was gay. I’d mentioned I was looking for a boyfriend, though, so that couldn’t be it.
The whole thing was confusing. Maybe I could set aside Spectrum for when I felt more confident. I just had to make sure I looked cool enough for this Shadetree thing first.
I certainly didn’t feel very cool. There wasn’t much that was interesting in my wardrobe. I ended up picking black jeans and a blue plaid shirt—boring, but at least I would marginally look like I fit in among the artsy kids. There was nothing to be done about my preppy haircut, though.
I really didn’t want to screw this up. I had the distinct conviction that it was a turning point of sorts. If I managed to actually build a friendship with Brianne or get in with her other friends, my entire Beasley experience would change. My entire life would change, even.
I was trying not to hang too much on it, but it was difficult. I’d been painfully lonely for so long, and it was hard when I was reminded of how lonely I was all the damn time. To think that my years of loneliness could be over was exhilarating.
Satisfied with my appearance, I grabbed my purse, then hopped on my bike and headed to Shadetree. It wasn’t particularly close to anything else, but it wasn’t hard to get to, and as I approached the building, I could see that it was already busy.
I locked my bike and realized I wasn’t going to find Brianne easily. I texted her to let her know I was here, then took a deep breath and walked into the building.
I recognized some faces of students and professors from campus, but there were plenty of other people who looked like they were from the town. There was art everywhere, of course, and it was amazing. I saw that there was food and drink for sale, so I bought a cheap glass of wine and kept my eyes peeled for Brianne.
As soon as I spotted her, I froze up. God, she just looked so cool and beautiful, even, with her loose blazer over a floral dress. I was completely deluded to think that she’d want to hang out with me. But she wasn’t with anyone else, so I walked up to her.
“Hey!” she said, her sour expression melting into a more friendly one.
“Hey,” I said, holding up my wine. “I got a drink. You want one?”
“Nah, I’m good,” she said. “Let’s look at some art.”