When we drove back to Beasley that evening, I was exhausted but happy. I decided to just stay at Brianne’s place since I’d moved a lot of my stuff over already.
When we got into bed, I rested my head on her chest and thought. No, now wasn’t the right time either. The right time would present itself, and I would know when it happened.
I was thinking of all the things I wanted to tell her when I drifted off to sleep.
15
BRIANNE
G raduation had come and gone. I’d spoken with Kaitlyn about recruiting more people for our music group. We needed someone to do rhythm—a percussionist or maybe a bassist. We’d discussed some people we could talk to, though we weren’t in a huge rush. Now that I was truly done with school, I felt like I could relax a bit.
Living with Margie wasn’t without its hiccups, but it was smooth sailing for the most part. I disco
vered she was as fastidiously tidy as I was—but even more so. I suspected that she felt a little bad about living here rent free, so she made sure to keep the house extra clean. I’d told her that we could trade off on chores several times, but she’d insisted. If it made her feel better, then I was happy to let her do it.
Even though the relationship had happened pretty quickly, I felt comfortable. I’d forgotten how good being in a relationship felt. But I didn’t think I’d ever felt like this with Nicole. It’d been pleasant, but it hadn’t felt as deep, somehow.
Maybe that was the nature of first love. Maybe experience made love richer.
But then, this was Margie’s first serious relationship, so that train of thought didn’t really make sense.
I needed to stop overthinking it and just enjoy.
Margie hadn’t had that much stuff, and I was something of a minimalist, so that was convenient. Our lives fit together like cheap cardboard puzzle pieces—it needed a little finagling, but worked out in the end. I hoped that she’d want to continue living with me even after the summer ended, especially since it was going so well, but I didn’t want to push her.
Mostly, I was surprised that I was so comfortable allowing her into my space. I’d grown quite a bit, shedding my prickly exterior (with her, at least) and allowing intimacy to grow.
And she’d made more friends. She got along great with my friend group now, and she was making her own friends at the EAC. Since we’d discovered they were decent people at the potluck, she’d been going to more of their hangouts. Most of them had gone for the summer, but a few had stuck around so she had people to hang out with.
My parents had also delivered with Leah Hensley’s contact information, and Margie was to start working at the animal rescue soon. She was thrilled. While it wasn’t the same as working with wildlife, since Leah’s rescue focused on abandoned pets, it was still a good opportunity and I was happy for Margie. And best of all, it was paid.
I still hadn’t made much headway on my own career. Here I was, a freshly minted Beasley grad, and I was having trouble. It was probably because all the businesses around here were inundated with Beasley grads. It should have been as impressive as a degree from Harvard or Stanford or any of the other Ivies, but not in Rosebridge, apparently.
I was on my laptop, sighing as I looked over my cover letter template for the millionth time. Applying to jobs was the worst, much worse than applying for internships. This time I had to worry about job titles and salaries and benefits and other such details.
I was beginning to worry that I wouldn’t find a job in Rosebridge at all. And if that happened, then I’d have to leave town, and I didn’t know if my relationship with Margie would survive. I also hated to think of leaving her here. Sure, she had friends, but… I still felt protective.
Reluctantly, I’d started applying to jobs in New York City, Boston, and other places all across New England. It was driving me crazy that I hadn’t gotten much interest from potential employers. Maybe I should have started job hunting much earlier.
My parents would support me as long as I needed them too, but I didn’t want to be a mooch. I hated the idea of continuing to live off their money longer than was necessary.
I was looking over my cover letter until the words got fuzzy and all looked the same. I had to stop. Instead, I closed my computer and got up, wondering what to do with myself.
No classes. No tests. No homework. No job.
It was weird.
The only thing I could do was practice for the Shadetree show. Kaitlyn was good at doing covers, and she’d picked out some songs that would benefit from added violin. I supposed I could practice them.
Playing the violin usually got me out of my rut, but today, I was too consumed by anxiety.
What would happen if I couldn’t find a job at all? I knew my parents would let me move back in with them—but I didn’t want that. They had a pretty big house and I would have room to myself, but that wouldn’t stop my mother from overseeing every detail of my life. I’d gotten used to a lot of freedom in college, and I wasn’t prepared to give it up. And they lived far enough away from Rosebridge that my relationship with Margie would become long distance.
Margie was out with some EAC people, so I wouldn’t see her until later. I looked out the window, seeing the golden sunlight paint everything in yellow. It was weird, but for the first time in a while, I felt a little lonely.
I decided to fix that by calling Annie. Now that we were both adults, maybe we could have more of a closer relationship. I normally didn’t talk with people on the phone at all unless I needed something, so it wasn’t my style, but…
She picked up after a couple of rings. “Hey, girl, what’s up?”