“The zoo would be a sweet place to work,” I said. “I can’t believe I haven’t gone this year.”
“Me neither,” said Emily. “And I’m also a bio major. You’d think we’d have a field trip or something.”
“Hey, you go on some awesome field trips,” said Kaitlyn. “Like the one to that wildlife refuge.”
“I guess,” said Emily.
“Well, I’ll look into it,” said Margie. “I guess because I’m new in town I didn’t know about all the opportunities.”
“It shouldn’t be too hard to find something. A lot of Beasley students are from out of state so they go elsewhere for their internships,” said Emily. “I don’t think a lot of them actually stick around for the summer.”
There were a pause in the conversation. I checked my phone; it was getting a bit late, and I did still have a couple finals to knock out. By the end of the week, I’d be done. And then, after graduation…
I loved thinking of what my life as an adult would look like. I loved knowing that I would be completely free from my parents’ influence so soon. Even though, as a college student, they weren’t breathing down my necks all the time, they did still control me financially. I ran up against a lot of resistance when I wanted to make big purchases or take trips. Or even rent an apartment—my parents had come down when I was house-hunting and taken over the process. I yearned to actually be able to make my own decisions.
And it would be amazing if Margie moved in. Even though I was introverted, and loved having my apartment to myself, I felt like I’d be even happier with her. She was one of the few people who didn’t make me feel tired after I hung out with her.
Of course, we’d also be able to do plenty more sexy stuff if we lived together too. I really hoped that she would say yes.
“Want to go for another half hour or so?” asked Kaitlyn, cutting into my thoughts.
“Sure.” I nodded, picked up my violin, and sat back in my seat. The chinrest fit perfectly against my jaw, and the violin’s weight was comforting. As I started playing again, I found myself falling under the spell of the music, the rare harmony that Kaitlyn and I were able to create together. Music was magic, there was no doubt about it. It spoke to me in a way words never could.
And playing with Kaitlyn made me feel more fluid, more free, than playing in the orchestra. The orchestra was largely about precision and making sure you were doing the same thing as everyone else. There wasn’t too much room for individual style, not as much as this. As a result, my playing was pretty methodical and stilted. I felt like improvisation and jamming with Kaitlyn had freed some other intangible part of me.
I could feel it; that was what it came down to. I couldn’t say what it was, but it was a part that had needed healing, and had found it here.
I found myself humming along with the tune as Kaitlyn sang, and it was so catchy that Margie and Emily joined in as well, tapping their feet and getting into the music.
I felt connected in a way I’d never felt before in that moment. It was beautiful, like my whole self was ensconced in the comfort of our united expression.
I took a deep breath and gave it my all.
14
MARGIE
I was honestly shocked that Brianne had offered to let me live with her. Even though we’d been dating for a bit, I still felt like parts of her were inscrutable. And to think that she wanted me around in her living space… she was really opening up.
It must have meant she really liked me. And maybe even better, trusted me. We’d come a long way from me spilling her coffee.
Of course, I wanted to take her up on her offer. I knew it might not be completely smooth sailing—problems came up when you lived with someone—but so far, we’d both handled problems in a mature way. I felt like we could handle this too.
I discussed the situation with Cass, and it worked out like a stroke of luck—Marnie lived in the dorms (which explained why she was at the house so often) and was open to moving in with Cass over the summer. I helped her move her things into my room, since I didn’t have much.
And after graduation, I would move in completely. It was strange to be one of the only non-seniors sticking around Rosebridge. But part of the reason I was sticking around was because I’d agreed to go to this wedding with Brianne.
I dug up some of my best clothing, which I was glad my mother insisted I pack for formal events, and tried to look halfway decent. I knew Brianne herself would look like a princess, and I wanted to keep up. I had a bit of a hunch about how her parents would be, and I wanted to earn their respect.
“Ready?” she asked, as she smoothed out her dress.
“Yep.” I grabbed my purse. I wasn’t sure I was really ready—could you ever be, when you were going to meet your girlfriend’s parents? But I was as prepared as I’d ever be.
We were taking my car. The wedding site was just forty-five minutes away on an old farm. The couple had apparently decided to do one of those trendy barn weddings, with rustic decor and shabby chic. Despite this, Brianne told me I should dress up as best I could.
The only nice dress I had was an old one from one of my high school homecomings. I’d bought it from a thrift store and it had a weird crimson paisley print from the ‘90s, but it was in good condition and didn’t look bad. Still, I worried. I knew Brianne’s family was really rich and mine, well, wasn’t. I wasn’t sure I’d know how to talk to these people, or answer certain questions they might ask.
But I had to stop worrying. My palms were slightly damp on the steering wheel, and I even worried about the condition of my car. It was a respectable thirteen year old Toyota Corolla. It looked clean and I took good care of it. But it certainly wasn’t going to be the nicest car in the parking lot.